Inuyasha Diaries
by wbaker5286
Summary: Kagome makes Inuyasha keep a diary to sort out his anger management issues.
1. Chapter 1

1I don't own anything but my computer.

DAY 1

So, she thought he had an anger management problem, huh? Just because he'd knocked the kitsune around a few times today. O.K., so maybe he'd had a run in with the monk, too. Not to mention his bastard brother had shown up.

But what had brought it all to a head was when the stupid squirrel had tried to make him leave his place in the tree. After all, it was the perfect place to rest and keep watch over his pack. He couldn't help it if the squirrel had a nest there. The tree rat could damn well move for the night.

Who knew those things could make so much noise? How could something so small think it could take him on? He'd only had to chase it for a half an hour. He couldn't help it if it woke everyone up. He'd only been doing it to keep them safe, after all.

Keh!

Now she wanted him to write in this gods damned journal everyday. Like that would change the way he felt about anything. It was because of something she had learned in her sy-kol-o-gee class, in that school of her's. He knew letting her go there had been a mistake. Now he was the one who had to pay the price.

It wasn't like he didn't already have enough to do. He'd like to see how grumpy she was if she had to stay up half the night to make sure he was safe.

But she was his Kagome. It was his job to protect her, and he took his job seriously. That was what had been the cause of all the problems in the first place.

He knew she was tired, but the damn kit wouldn't let her be. Shipou had even made Kagome carry him when they were walking. When he'd taken the kit from her, Shipou had made such a fuss that he'd given him a smack on the head. It wasn't even that hard. Only a small lump, after all. Then she'd had the nerve to sit him.

Keh!

She should have known he'd had good reason to knock the monk out. Everyone knew about the monk. Miroku's hands had inspired legends, after all. When he'd seen the monk getting too close to her, he naturally had to do something, didn't he? He did have to admit, the monk's lump was a lot bigger than Shippou's. But it still didn't mean she had to sit him again, did it?

Keh!

And just why the hell should she be mad about him getting upset about Sesshomarou? His bastard brother was almost as big a threat to his pack as Naraku. What the hell was he supposed to do when the youkai's sent made it's way to his sensitive nose? Ignore it? Yeah, right! He'd do that when hell froze over. So what if he'd had to spend half the day tracking the guy down, only to have to give up when he realized his brother had taken to the air on that ridiculous two headed dragon of his. Someday he'd catch up with Sesshomarou again, and then the fur would really fly. All to protect his pact, right? So why did she sit him for it?

Keh!

It wasn't his fault that everyone was so on edge by the time they made camp that they couldn't even talk civilly. All he could hear were growls, and monosyllabic commands coming from his pack. So why did they always think he was the grumpy one.

He'd even been nice enough to catch dinner for them. But that wasn't enough. Oh, no. They still wouldn't talk, which was strange, because he could swear he'd heard them talking to each other the whole time he'd been out hunting. But who could ever figure out humans? Certainly not him. Not that he'd ever want to, anyway.

When everyone finally decided a good night's sleep might help put things right, and had settled down to rest, he went about his job of making sure they were all safe. He really couldn't help it if it had made enough noise to wake them when the stupid snake youkai had tripped him, could he. So maybe the windscar had been a bit of overkill, but at least he'd kept it from attacking them, hadn't he? So why had she said that word, without even getting out of her sleeping bag?

Keh!

Even after all that, he still had his duty, didn't he? He'd even found the perfect spot to keep an eye on his pack. It wasn't always easy to find the right branch. This one was just high enough to be able to see any danger coming, but still close enough to make sure they were all safe in their sleep. It wasn't his fault it happened to be so close to the damn squirrel's nest.

He'd finally made himself comfortable, and started scanning the area, when the rodent started that damned chattering. He'd tried to shoo it away as nicely as he could, but, apparently, squirrels don't take kindly to a knock on the head. How was he supposed to know?

At first, he wasn't even the one making all the noise. He really tried to be considerate, after all. The stupid squirrel didn't have the same concerns, though. The damn thing was making a hell of a racket, jumping from branch to branch, screaming in it's clattery little voice that hurt his sensitive ears. How the hell did they expect him to just take it? Especially when the damn thing tried to bite him?

He thought he'd used all the restraint that anyone could expect. But, damn it, now it was personal. He'd leapt from branch to branch trying to get the little thing. After all, if it had the nerve to try and bite him, what would it try to do to his friends if he let it get away?

Who knew squirrels could be so fast? He'd never seen one he couldn't catch, before. And who knew a little noise would wake everyone? After all, they only had weak human hearing, didn't they? He thought the kit might hear it, but so what. A good knock on the head, and the brat would be out again for the night.

With a snarl on his lips, and a sneer on his face, he had finally caught the enemy, only to hear that word again.

Keh!

Who knew being sat from that high in the tree would hurt so much? Even Sango had to admire the depth of the crater it made. And on top of that, he'd lost his grip on the squirrel on the way down. It had sat just out of his reach, doing that maddening chattering. He could even swear it was laughing at him.

So why did they all think he was the one with the problem?

But the only way to make her shut up had been for him to agree to write in the damn journal. And Kagome said she was going to read it, just to make sure he kept his word. Like he would ever lie to her.

So, with a sharpened pencil and a fresh notebook, he re-claimed his branch and started writing. When he was finished, he re-read his entry, and decided this might not be as hard as he had thought it would be.

He couldn't see why kagome was so mad when she had read it. He looked it over again with a self-satisfied smirk. He thought it was a work of poetic art. What he saw was:

Day one:

I protected my pack from all dangers.

As a reward for my selfless acts, I got SAT five times.

Who can understand humans?

Keh!


	2. Chapter 2

Due to a discussion during work one day, the allure of alliteration made an appearance in this chapter. The question at the time was whether it could only be used to provide enhancement to poetry, or if it could be sustained in a story. This was my answer.

8888

Okay, so maybe it took him a little while to get things straight in his mind, but eventually he could get it all to work out right. So why did she feel the need to make him rehash it all in this damn diary? Why did she insist that writing it down would make him see things any differently? Especially when anyone could see that he'd done nothing wrong, if they would just look at it from his angle.

He had heard Kagome telling Shippou that he couldn't have anymore of that candy that she was always bringing back from her time. But he knew that if the kitsune kept whining and asking, she would eventually give in. He knew, and Shippou knew, also, that Kagome had no strength when it came to the kit's pleading.

He simply decided to be strong for her. So when Kagome was distracted, explaining why too much candy at one time was not good for a body, he employed every bit of stealth and speed he could to remove the bag of candy from it's hiding place in her big, yellow pack.

He really did intend to take it into the woods and burry it, but his curiosity had always been an important part of who he was. He only wanted to find out what it was about the stuff that made Shippou so determined to always have more. He decided to check out just one piece. They weren't very big, and they weren't even alive, so how could it hurt?

Keh!

Of all the decisions he'd made in his life this was one he really wished he could go back to, and decide differently. How was he supposed to know so much trouble could come from trying to be strong for his Kagome?

For some reason, the paper it was wrapped in didn't want to cooperate. It seemed to be stuck to itself, as much as it was stuck to the candy within. Maybe he should have looked at it as a sign from the gods that he wasn't meant to continue in this particular endeavor. But always having been valiant in his undertakings, he could not give up. He fought the good fight against the paper, and in the end he was victorious, as always. The only problem was that once he finally gave in and used his claws to shred the wrapping to pieces, the pieces would not release his claws from their sticky grasp.

No amount of shaking or waving of his hands could persuade the tiny tormentors to leave his digits with dignity. How could he convince the others of his leadership abilities, if he was forced to live the rest of his life with bits of brightly colored yellow confetti stuck to his fingers? No matter what he tried, they retained their tiny, tenacious grip.

Finally, in his desperation, he plunged his hands in a nearby stream. The fast flowing water gradually loosened the offending papers, and he smirked in victory as he watched the disgusting detritus float downstream. There was no way he was going to lose the battle to such an insipid opponent. His smirk quickly faded, though, as he pulled his hands out of the water and realized he'd lost the candy, also.

What the hell?

Now it was personal The entire bag of candies had just become his mortal enemy. The small, sticky, yellow confection must have had some demon attributes to have been able to escape from him, after all. How could he take a chance on the others of his group finding any of the offending pieces. None of the others had his cunning when it came to dealing with demonic intelligence, did they? So he decided it would have to be his responsibility to teach these things to mind their place in the world.

By the gods, he hated sounding like his brother, but sometimes you just had to admit that what was right, was right.

He dug into the bag with a ferocity that would have stood him in good stead in a battle with Naraku. When he removed his hand, it clutched another of the candies, but this one was not the same as the first had been. As he looked at it, he tried to ponder the meaning of it's change in color. This piece was covered in blue paper. Could these candies be part kitsune, or perhaps some other demon that possessed shape shifting abilities? It was of little consequence to him, in any case. Whatever it was, he was not going to let this one escape.

With a level of patience few knew he could put into service, he began to pry one lilliputian corner of the paper free. Following the edges, he managed to work his claw between the wrapping and the captive candy that was held within. Once there was enough of the wrap free for him to grasp, he gave it a hearty pull, and watched as the square, blue candy promptly plummeted into the mud that was at his feet.

Keh!

What was a little mud to someone who had grown up as he had? As he reached toward the ground, he imbedded his claw into the offending morsel, skewering it completely. He would not let this one get away! Bringing the now safely secured candy up, he gently wiped the mud on his clothes. As his hand drew close to his face, a most amazing smell assaulted his overly sensitive olfactory organ. It was like nothing he had ever been exposed to, before. The scent of juicy, almost over ripe fruitiness was mixed with sweet, sweet sugars. But it was much more than that. It had a presence all it's own contained in that scent.

Try as he might, he could find nothing in his existence to compare it to. Dare he taste it? Was it really safe to put it into his mouth? Thinking it over, he remembered seeing Shippou eating one of these same candies just this morning. If the damn brat could eat one and survive, they must be harmless to someone with his strength.

Without another thought, he popped it into his mouth, and wrapped his tongue around it. Immediately, his eyes opened so wide, he thought that he was in danger of having them fall out of their sockets in shock. Oh, heaven! How could he have gone all his life without this bliss? The taste was as sweetly seductive as the scent had been. The unidentifiable fruit must have been native only to Kagome's time. He knew there was no fruit he had ever tasted in his life that tasted quite like this. The tempting tangy flavor was mixed with just the correct amount of fruity flash to excite his expectant tastebuds.

He had to have more! And he had to have it right now, damn it!

Throwing all care to the winds, he tore the bulging bag asunder with no thought to consequence. Then he watched as all the treasures that were within the bag promptly plummeted into the mud.

Keh!

Looking deep within himself, he found the steely resolve to recommence his attack on the candies. Picking them up, one by one, he wiped the mud from them onto his clothes–said clothes looking as if he had been the one that had been dropped into the muck. By the time he had them all corralled and secreted securely in his haori, he was streaked head to toe with the sticky soil. It was no matter to him; he had his treasure, and was not about to give it up.

As quickly as he could, he made his way to a concealed cave that had served him as a hiding hole in the past. Now he was free to pursue his confectionary pleasures at his leisure. Removing the first piece at random, he saw it was a green square, but otherwise identical to the others.

Remembering the innate ability to escape that had previously been shown by the candies, once they had been freed of their wrappers, he knew he had to formulate a new plan of attack. He knew that sometimes the simplest plan was the best, and not one to go in for over mentation, he put the candy–wrapper and all–in his mouth. Maybe it wasn't the best solution in the world, but it was certainly the easiest. As the paper slowly came unglued from the candy, he pulled the pieces unceremoniously out of his mouth. Thoroughly enjoying the tempting taste, he settled in a euphoric haze. With glazed eyes, he let the candy slowly melt in his mouth.

As soon as it had dissolved, he was salivating for more. His plan to only sample one piece having been long forgotten, he popped the next one into his mouth. Each color had it's own flavor! Had the gods designed these for their own pleasure? Surely, these were not meant for earthly beings. He had never felt so alive, so aware of his surroundings. He'd never before felt as if he could do everything he'd always wanted to do, and do it all at once. The power and energy that was flowing through his veins put his demon blood to shame. If just a few of these candies had done this for him, how much better would it be if he ate more of them?

Maybe, he reasoned, if he ate two or three of them at a time he could gain strength and energy that much faster. Faster, and faster the bite sized pieces disappeared into his mouth. Now, he could feel the energy contained within the sweets screaming through his body. Every muscle seemed to hum in a frequency all it's own. Each thought that entered his mind stood out with crystal clarity, but refused to merge with any other thought. His breathing and heart rate were going at impossible speeds.

No wonder Kagome had not let Shippou have more than one of these mighty, magic candies. The power they contained would be too much for the kit to handle. Only one such as he, with his superior strength, could be trusted to be able to take advantage of their enviable enhancements. But now what should he do with the power surging through his body?

Perhaps the others in his pack would benefit from his newfound abilities. He could imagine the atmosphere of adoration that would be present when they witnessed the wonders he now felt capable of.

Besides, the candy had all been consumed, and he felt that physical activity might just calm his racing mind.

On his way back to the others, he couldn't help noticing a few dead trees that had the nerve to stand in his way. Okay, so not all of them were dead yet, but once he cut them down with his bare claws, they certainly were. If they had the nerve to try to block the path of someone as strong as he, what chance would his friends have against the dreaded, deciduous threats.

Taking off once again, with a swiftness that would rival Kouga's jewel enhanced velocity, he'd found himself in the midst of the others before he'd even scented their presence. He'd immediately started to explain his heightened capabilities, when he'd been stopped short by Kagome's look of utter shock.

What the hell was she going on about? What about the way he looked? He looked just the same as always, didn't he? And why was every other thing out of her mouth sounding like slow down? Did she have a head injury that was affecting her ability to hear and understand? And why were the others looking at him as if he had grown a second head?

Perhaps it had something to do with his inability to stand still; but, damn it, there was so much he wanted to do, and he wanted to do it all now! Why was everyone else moving so slowly? Couldn't they see that time was wasting? With so many thoughts flying through his head, and not taking the time to stop, and so much energy begging to be used, he didn't know which to attend to first.

In the time it took Kagome to ask him just what he thought he was doing, he had made three trips around the incredulous group. Shippou now sported a large lump on his head, and was whining for someone to help him out of the tree from which he found himself hanging by his tender tail.

Sango, having felt a rush of wind caress her unprotected backside, had been preparing to reprimand the not so honorable monk, who, in her mind, was always responsible for all assaults on her person. As she readied her hiraikotsu to use in reminding her perverse protagonist that she was not unable to protect herself from abdicable advances, she blinked in surprise, instead.

Standing before her, showing all the world almost all his glory, was one very red faced monk. Feeling strange exposure, Miroku had chanced to look down, just as Sango had turned her stinging stare in his direction. He had but a moment to wonder where his robes had gone, when he realized that he was the object of Sango's continued interest. He found himself clad only in his fundoshi and sandals, still holding his shakujo. Having no idea how he had come to be in this state of undress, he couldn't help but feel the vulnerability of his situation. How would his dear Sango ever be able to see him in any other way than that as an ineffectual object of desire after this display. As quickly as he could, he disconcertedly dashed behind the nearest bush in an effort to regain whatever dignity he could find.

Sango, however, found the entire debacle deliriously entertaining. Having no idea how it had happened, she accepted the fact that it had happened. It was fitting that the monk have this little taste of how it felt to be looked at as a sexual object and not as the person within. 'Payment for past transgressions can be a hard road to travel, indeed!' her mind reasoned. Looking down, she noticed that her appearance had been altered slightly, also. She was now wearing the most amazing rosary of flowers she had ever seen. She had no idea when or by whom it had been placed on her person, but given her pragmatic philosophy, she didn't waste time on wistful wondering. She simply admired the flowers.

As Sango helped Shippou from his precarious perch, the humbled Hoshi took the opportunity to reclaim his errant articles of clothing. When they'd had a chance to regroup, they noticed the void left by one misplaced miko and one hyperactive hanyou.

Meanwhile, from his lofty lookout in the branches above, Inuyasha held his Kagome securely to prevent a fatal fall. Watching his punch-drunk pack, he couldn't help but wonder at the pulsing power of the magical candies that still radiated through his being. He had to find a way to egest this enormous energy, or he would explode! At least he could be confident in the knowledge that Kagome would not use that savage "sit" word while she was in his arms.

Still carrying his cautious miko, he leapt from treetop to treetop. He had to find a way to quiet his cannonballing thoughts. Added to his addled mental musings, the constant cacophony that assailed his much abused ears was destroying any hope of rational thought. Why did Kagome feel the need to voice her displeasure at the top of her voice? Couldn't she see how dangerously distracting she was being.

Keh!

It would serve her right if he were to find somewhere to place his precious priestess so she could vent her vociferous, vehement outcry in private. At least then he could save his sensitive sense of hearing from further impairment. Looking around, nothing caught his sight that might be able to serve his purpose.

Keh!

He would just have to take matters into his own hands, and design his own detention domicile. A quick glance at his environs enabled him to spy the tumble of toppled trees that had stood in his path. Perhaps, if he placed them properly, the would provide nicely for his purpose.

Using one hand to restrain his reluctant friend, he used the other to pile the plant material into a crude hut to house one very loud young lady. The power of the precious candy confections still showed no signs of deserting his deserving person, but at least now he could contemplate his condition in relative calm.

Just as he was about to take off at a roaring run, a mighty yawn suddenly surprised the now lethargic lad. How could this be? One moment he'd had all the energy and strength in the world, and the next he could think of nothing but curling quietly in a ball, and taking a nap! Had the demonic presence concealed in the candies rejected him? Was this the fate of all who placed their faith in the fickle nature of these fruity, future treats? Perhaps if he rested a bit, the resolutions to his questions would right themselves in his mind.

As he was about to lay his now aching head down, a noise from the forest behind seized his fractured attention. Stomping out of the adumbral avalanche of trees, his three previously absent allies made their appearance. The language launched by each was enough to send his befuddled brain back to it's disordered depth.

After the physical projects he had put his person through, he wanted nothing more than to rest and relax, so that he could recoup his reserves of energy. But would they leave him in peace to pursue this pleasure? No! Just as he'd decided that he would have to try to familiarize his friends with his needs for silence and sleep, he heard the diminutive deliverance of that dreaded word, coming from the heap of hardwood behind him

Keh!.

As his face had crashed forcefully to the ground, he found that he was fortunate to find himself in a position that promoted a pause in activity. Deceptively deciding to reap the reward of his newfound position, he lay perfectly still and quiet. His three still mobile friends took the opportunity to help the pouting priestess from her lodging of lumber. The four friends shared exasperated expressions as they evaluated the hapless hanyou before them.

The strangely silent state of their fellow traveler had them worried, until they heard sonorous sounds coming from his sweetly sleeping mouth. He's then found himself ruthlessly roused from his restorative reprieve and surrounded by a pack of very perturbed people.

Deciding to let them state their strident outcries without interruption, he let his dog-tired, drooping person remain in the prone position that he found so palliative. Maybe they would just go away if he ignored them.

Keh!

He found no such luck. How could he have expected an exception of the chaos that encompassed his existence just because he was exhausted? Realizing that the racket that rose from the people ringing him was on the rise, he resigned himself to the reality that rest was beyond his reach. Steeling his senses to steady himself against the severing of his serenity, he stood to confront his choleric companions.

Looking at his peeved pack, he decided that their demeanor demanded his delicate touch to diffuse this sticky situation. In trying to appease his aggrieved associates, he assumed the role of calm counselor. But no matter how hard he tried to clarify the cleverness in his role as gracious guardian to this gregarious group, no one would let him rest.

Keh!

The only way to realize the rest he required was to relinquish his potent pride and apologize. But even that did not satisfy their flustered feelings. No, they insisted that he sit in seclusion in this shady arbor and again communicate how contrite he was in this damn diary.

So he swiftly shed all simulation of indignity, and instead initiated his descriptive dissertation. As he wrote the selfsame satisfaction that he had found following his last effort washed over his overwhelmed being.

Reading over his enlightened entry one final time, he couldn't help but think that this thesis would satisfy even the stringency of his now stern supporters. Looking down, he read:

I gladly sacrificed my well being to the demonic candy to protect my pack from them. As my reward, I was refused the opportunity to rest and recuperate.

As he gladly gave the acerbic account over to his Kagome, she shielded her eyes with a weary hand, and said the one word sure to stop his smug smirking...

"Sit!"

Keh!

8888

Not being the best at greetings, good-byes or gratuities, I would like to thank Catbaker, Kelly, & brakken for all the encouragement the first chapter received.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

So, once again, through no fault of his own, he found himself sitting in this damn tree, writing in this damn diary. How could she ever think this would help him manage his anger when all it did was make him mad as hell at having to put up with her modern ideas about what to do? Humans in her time were even weaker than humans in his time. If she would just let him handle things his way, everything would be taken care of as soon as it became a problem. With a sword as big as his, he could take care of a _lot_ of problems.

Take that mangy wolf, for instance. If she would just let him, he could take care of that problem with his sword in no time. Hell, he wouldn't even need his sword. Just let him get close enough with his claws, and he'd make sure the wolf was never a problem again. This was all the lupine womanizer's fault, anyway. If Koga hadn't been there to start this trouble, he wouldn't be confined in this leafy prison, trying to find the right words to satisfy Kagome.

When the village headman had approached, begging for help, he hadn't wanted to put their quest on hold yet again. After all, how were they ever going to finally put this to rest if they had to stop and help everyone who asked them? It really shouldn't matter that there had been no leads on either shards or Naraku in weeks, he reasoned, they had to press on, and put their mission before anything else. He knew his Kagome's heart was soft when it came to helping others, but he also knew the monk was only thinking of the payment he would receive for their assistance. But he was outnumbered, with Shippou siding with Kagome, and Sango taking up the monk's cause.

Keh!

When had being outnumbered ever stopped him before? If he had ever paid attention to odds, he would have been dead long ago! He knew that if they were to have any hope of getting on with their task, he would just have to be strong. So he'd planted his feet, crossed his arms and told them that he would not allow them to be detoured.

As the stream started to rise from the mad-as-hell miko, he realized he may have gone too far. It was strange, but he could swear that her eyes were starting to turn just a little bit red. Trying his best to hide behind an uncooperative Sango, he couldn't help the yelp that unexpectedly escaped his unsuspecting throat. Damn, she could be scarey, sometimes! Even he knew better than to deny her whatever she wanted when she was like this. Silently congratulating himself on being able to avoid another face plant, he turned to look at her as she called his name. He should have known that when she used that fake, sweeter than honey dipped in sugar voice, there was going to be pain involved. And that said pain would involve him, personally. 

Keh!

In all their time together, it had always amazed him that she had never once said that word when he was standing on nice, soft grass. How did she unswervingly pick the times when he was standing on a path that had been packed hard from thousands of tramping feet, or on the only rocky patch of land for miles around? Oi! She was one sneaky wench, as far as he was concerned.

Now they were stuck trying to help control a bunch of smelly pigs. He thought that if the stench didn't kill him, the slop he had to chase these slippery devils through just might do the trick. He'd had to do some dirty jobs in order to survive, but nothing in his life had ever compared to this. He couldn't tell where the mud ended, and the pig shit began. All he knew was that he was now covered in both, and it was all that mangy wolf's fault. 

The headman had told them that a strange whirlwind had passed through the village, and that was what set the pigs into a panic. Running rampant around and around their pen, one pigheaded member of the herd had gotten the bright idea to run straight into the fence. Naturally the fence had lost the battle. Would the gods grant him any other fate? Seriously, if he ever caught a break, he would get down on his knees, and kiss his bastard brother's ass! 

He'd thought the best way to handle the situation was to show these creatures who was alpha, right from the start. Putting his fiercest glower on his face, he turned to stalk the ringleader. How was he supposed to know that something that despicable looking could be so cunning and fast? Before he knew what was happening, said pig had dashed between his legs. The result of his trying to play matador to the charging swine was him ending up on his ass in a puddle of questionable origin. Meanwhile, the pig in question was running straight into the middle of the village that they were supposedly protecting. 

Putting on a bit more speed, he dashed after the offensive squealer. His plan was to bring this head pig down to show the others just who was boss. No one had ever told him how hard it would be to try to hold an irate, muddy, volatile Sus scrofa. The boss pig had a hell of a different idea about what was going to happen next, apparently. Uttering a squeal that he was positive would result in hearing loss for the next twenty years, the swine made a lunge for freedom. 

He could only watch with dread as the future pork roast made it's way toward a small hut, with the rest of the herd following closely behind. He had no problem with sacrificing one hut, if it meant saving the rest of the village. If he could contain the group of good for nothing-but-sausages in there, he would be able to reclaim his rightful place in Kagome's good graces.

As he's always found before, every good plan had a flaw. How could anyone have expected him to know that the hut he was herding the pork rinds to was the one place this village chose to house all the children whose parents were busy trying to insure the survival of the hamlet? The villagers decided to voice their concerns all at once. He couldn't make any sense of the confusion of words that were being directed at him. All he heard were random snatches and a few individual words, such as "stop", "not that way" and "the children". And why would she say that word when he was standing in the biggest puddle of pig slop he had ever seen? At least it was the softest place she had ever sat him!

Keh!

Once the cautionary word sunk in, along with the slop, and the spell wore off, he had to race to try and divert the disaster that was looming. He managed to turn aside all but the lead pig. Damn, but that bacon factory was making him mad! Following closely on the oinker's curly tail, he dashed into the hut full of now screaming brats. The noise level was almost enough to make him draw his sword, and be done with them all. But he was a fast learner, wasn't he? And he knew that his Kagome would not be pleased with that. Hell, she might even sit him for something like that. So, working as fast as he could, he started gathering up all the crying, snot nosed, germ carrying little terrors. The first one that he'd picked up appeared to be the leader of this midget human pack. The chubby little bundle in his arms began demanding to be put down as soon as he'd been picked up. By the gods, how could one small child make so much noise. And the contortions that the child could put his body through were enough to make him wonder if the brat had any bones at all.

Rushing to Kagome's side, he thrust three of the clamoring kids at her. He knew she wouldn't be strong enough to control the leader of the brat pack, though. He resigned himself to having to face the head pig while trying to control the alpha baby with no help. 

He'd soon found, much to his consternation, that trying to hold a squirming, determined babe was much the same as trying to hold an irate, slippery pig. As the stubborn little human managed to free itself from his grasp, he realized that he couldn't count on help from any of his usual sources. Checking them off, one by one, he saw the folly of each, in it's own turn. 

First, and foremost, was his trusty sword. It had never before failed to aid him in times of need. But the thought of his Kagome's face, looking upon what would be left of the subdued child, was enough to cause him to reject that plan of action. No, there would be no help from his tessaiga on this front.

Second, he realized his great strength would be useless in this particular battle. True, he would be able to overpower the runt if he chose to, but at the same cost as using his sword. He just knew either option would earn him one hell of a sit.

The third factor was his superior speed. For the life of him, he couldn't think of a way that speed would be of any help in holding onto the little brat. Once he had the child in his grasp, maybe his speed could assist him in removing the milk sucker from danger, but how in the name of all the kamis could it help him get that grasp in the first place? 

He would just have to rely on something he was not as comfortable with. He would have to try and charm the youngster into doing as he was told. Never taking his eye off the boss pig, he put on what he considered his most personable smile, and slowly made his way over to the boss brat. Never having practiced charm, he didn't really know that his smile resembled more of a death rictus than an overture of friendship. As he moved closer, the child moved further away, and the noise coming out of it rose in volume. He'd had to cover his ears, but he'd remembered to keep his charming smile plastered on his face.

He had no idea what Kagome was talking about when she started shouting at him. How could he be scaring the babies? He was being so damn charming his face hurt a helluva lot! He couldn't be any more damn charming without his damn smile breaking his damn face in two! He hated being charming! He would never understand why Kagome felt the need to say that word when he was trying so hard to resolve this situation that he'd had no part in making in the first place..

Keh!

The floor of the hut was no bed of roses, but at least it didn't have thorns, and it wasn't nearly as hard as the rocks she usually chose to sit him on. It smelled better than the slop outside, too. 

So, maybe charm wasn't the answer, either. Steeling his resolve, and lowering his ears as much as possible–to block out as much noise as possible–he made the only move he could think of. Taking off at a dead run, he grabbed the squealing kid under his left arm, and the squealing pig under his right. Before anyone knew what was happening, he had shoved the miniature tyrant into the open arms of one of the village women, and delivered the mud dweller to the bewildered headman. 

Looking at the scene with a sense of satisfaction, he couldn't help congratulating himself for a effecting a swift conclusion to the situation. His self-congratulatory mood was short lived, though, as he could smell a fast approaching stench with which he was all too familiar. 

Kouga! What did the fucking wolf want, now? How could he get his Kagome out of here before the wolf arrived? While pondering their options of escape, he was knocked aside by the whirlwind that had become well-known to him, unfortunately. He turned just in time to see the wolf grab Kagome's hands in his own. How dare Kouga touch Kagome! As he felt his rage rise, his hand automatically went to his sword's hilt. He'd take care of this problem right here, right now! 

He'd only taken three great strides, when Kagome's strident voice reached his ears. It seemed to have reached the rosary around his neck at the same time. As the dreaded word reverberated through the village, he found himself face down in the selfsame puddle he had become acquainted with earlier.

Keh!

So now, here he was again. Up in a tree with the damn book that was supposed to make him feel less angry. Damned if he could see how it would ever work. Looking around at those on the ground before he started writing, he couldn't help but feel that every being in this world and the next, along with all those in the seven hells were out to make his life frustrating. 

First, there was the horrible human child, napping peacefully with the previously swaggering swine. It seemed that they had decided to become life long friends. Now there would be no pork dinner in his immediate future.

Next, he saw the villagers taking advantage of the nicely repaired childcare hut and pigpen. He also saw the monk accepting their thanks for the work that Inuyasha himself had done. He could have been down there basking in their admiration, but no! He was stuck in the tree with the book!

Lastly, he saw his Kagome sitting in the sun, talking quietly with the wolf. And she was smiling! At Kouga! And the wolf was holding her hands! Again!! Didn't she know that she was his, and that he was hers for all time? He wondered if his wind scar would reach the wolf from where he sat. Looking directly below, he smiled at the sight of the nice, soft grass he'd had the foresight to pile around the tree. There were no pig puddles anywhere around, either. Sometimes, he did learn. But, tempting as it was, he'd had to dismiss the plan to rid the world of the menace known as Kouga. His Kagome was much too close to the wolf to take that chance. He knew his aim was deadly, but she was just too precious to chance it.

So he resigned himself to completing his task, and put his pen to the paper and wrote:

I selflessly offered my assistance to those in need, to correct a situation I had no part in making. For all my help, I was made an outcast in this tree.

As he deftly jumped to the ground, and started to walk toward Kagome, he noticed all the villagers sidling away from him. He knew the reason. His sense of scenting was sharper than theirs, after all. Too many puddles of pig shit, and not enough baths were not a good combination! But did that mean that she had to say that word? 'Stop', or 'Don't come any closer' would have worked just as well. And why did he have to be standing in another questionable puddle when she said it?

Keh!

As he lay there, trying as hard as he could to keep his face out of the muck, he could swear he heard the wolf mutter "He'll never learn".

888 

Thank you to those who took the time to review. The words mean so much. And Isiaha wants the next chapter to be about fish. 

Catbaker- Without the encouragement of good friends there never would have been more chapters. Thank you. 

Malitiadixie- I try my best to hide my creativity, but it sneaks out once in a while. Thank you for the kind words. 

oxOInuyasha-and-KagomeOxo- Inuyasha had always reminded me of a hyper little boy I know. He gave me great insights to the chapter. Thank you for the review.

Megan Consoer- Just because you asked so nicely, here's another chapter. Thanks for leaving a review.


	4. Chapter 4

1I would like to apologize in advance for the sword comparison remark. It was sparked by a discussion on the adinuyasha group site about the placement of the transformed tessaiga on the cover in relationship to Inuyasha's body. It made me laugh so hard, I just had to find a way to include it somewhere.

I own nothing connected with Inuyasha.

Chapter 4

As he tried to wring as much water from his hair as he possibly could, Inuyasha found himself ensconced in a strange tree with a very familiar book. No matter how he looked at things, he just couldn't see where he'd been in the wrong this time.

Except, maybe, that he'd been a little hungry the night before when he was standing watch, and had eaten all the food that Kagome had brought back with her. She might have thought it was enough to keep them all fed for a week, but he knew it had hardly been enough for a snack for one hungry hanyou. He really needed to keep up his strength, didn't he? After all, if he was weak from hunger, who would protect the rest of them? She could have at least listened to his reasoning before she'd said that word!

Keh!

And why the hell did Sango have to put her views out there for Kagome to use as more ammunition in their battle of wills? Sure, the slayer might be good at tracking, but did she have to let Kagome know that there had been no signs of game in the area for days? That just proved he needed the food to stay strong. There must have been a demon in the area that had scared off all the animals. He needed all the energy he could get to be able to fight for them, didn't he? Sometimes the sacrifices he was willing to make for his pack surprised even himself!

Kagome thought it would teach him a lesson to put him in charge of finding food, did she? Well, he'd done his best. He couldn't help it if there wasn't much around their camp. And he couldn't very well go too far from them. If he did, who would protect them when that gluttonous demon made an appearance?

So he'd started out toward a berry patch that he'd seen the day before. He'd noticed that the berries were at their peak of juicy ripeness. Even though they had all seen him heading that way, do you think one of his friends could have thought to remind him that berries and thorns went together? No! He'd made the mistake of jumping right into the middle of that damn patch before his brain had found the stored memory that might have stopped him. It seemed that he had tried this same maneuver in the past, and it had provided the same result. Not only had the tiny barbs grabbed hold of his beloved fire rat clothing as soon as he'd landed, but he'd soon found his hair hopelessly ensnared, too.

Given the personality at work, his attempts to free himself only resulted in further entanglement. As he had tried in vain to yank one arm free, he'd fallen backwards into the waiting embrace of even more thorny vines. He'd found himself lying flat on his back, held in the painful embrace of the wicked vines. And as a further affront to his lagging dignity, the berries that had looked so appealing due to their ripeness decided to cover him head to toe in their juicy goodness.

The only thing worse than a frustrated hanyou, is a frustrated purple hanyou!

How could he ever face the others, with a purple face? And why should he be worrying about having to face anyone, when it looked like he would be spending the rest of his days flat on his back, in the middle of the berry patch from hell!

A small voice buried deep in his mind reminded him that it could have been worse; his bastard brother could have chosen that moment to show up. Thanking the gods for at least sparing him that eventuality, he'd tried to think of a way to free himself from his bristly confines. He really, truly had tried to think. But the more he'd tried to think, the madder he'd become. Mad and thinking just couldn't exist in his mind at the same time.

As usual, mad had won out over thinking. Using all his strength, he'd managed to pull one hand free. With his ready cry of 'sankon tesso' he'd managed to slash the vines closest to that hand. Slowly making his way around his immediate area, he'd cleared a hanyou shaped spot of vines. He'd had to admit, the vines that had been tangled in his hair had been the hardest to deal with. He hadn't been able to turn his head until the vines were removed, and he couldn't see the vines to be removed until he could turn his head. As a result, he now had a rather unusual haircut to go with his rather unusual coloring. Purple skin and random hair length just seemed to fit together.

Standing carefully, so as not to entangle himself again, he prepared to leap out of the berry patch. How was he supposed to know that one wayward vine had wound itself around his ankle? And was it his fault that his friends just happened to show up at that very moment?

When he'd released the power in his coiled muscles to effect the mighty jump that would have taken him out of the thorny mess, that damned vine had made it's presence known. It had grabbed hold of his ankle with a vengeance! How dare it show defiance to his will that way! As thoughts of ripping the vine out of the earth roared through his head, he'd found himself falling very ungracefully onto his face.

He'd heard the outraged cry of his name as it left the lips of his companions simultaneously. He'd known from the tones used that no good would come from whatever had caused their discomfiture. Pulling his head up far enough to see how best to protect his pack from whatever was attacking, he'd seen nothing more than his friends, standing at the edge of the berry patch, covered with small purple spots.

How in all the levels of hell could they blame this on him? He hadn't asked them to stand so close to the edge of the patch, had he? And he damn well didn't need them to come and rescue him from a bunch of vines. He'd manage just fine by himself!

Readying his claws once again, he'd barely started to remove himself from the purple prison when he'd heard Kagome shouting something about her last school uniform being ruined. He'd recognized the tone of voice she'd been using. He knew what would follow in it's wake. He had only been thankful that he was already lying on the ground.

Keh!

The amount of berry juice that had pooled into the last crater had surprised the others more than it had him. He'd been lying in it, after all. Even though his proximity to the ground had prevented a truly inspired splash, he still had to snicker as he saw his pack once again covered with purple dots. He'd thought it was about time they got to share in the fun of those damn beads. Having his face submerged in a pool of muddy berry juice was not as bad a it sounded. At least it had made the ground softer than usual.

He'd once again started the laborious task of disentangling himself from the mass of thorns that he'd decided must have a vendetta against him. After all, they hadn't just scratched and jabbed him, they had made the extra effort to wind themselves so tightly into his clothes and hair, that it took most of the day for him to untangle himself.

Once he'd managed to free himself from the little patch of hell on earth, he'd noticed that the others had deserted him sometime during his travail. Following his ever trusty nose, he'd had no problem tracking them. They were headed to a stream they had passed before. His righteous indignation blossomed as he realized they must be under the mistaken impression that their need to rid themselves of the berry juice was greater than his own.

Couldn't they see that his being a giant, walking, purple grape would not help him in the least in his attempt to find food for them? Didn't they know that the sticky, squishy condition of his clothes would hinder him in his hunt for game? If he could find any game, how would he be able to use any stealth when he continued to drip purple juice with every step. And every step caused the sticky clothing to disengage from his skin in a most painful manner. He could swear that, in some places, his skin had decided to stay with the clothing, and not his body.

He would be the first to admit that he'd probably not been in the best mood when he'd caught up to them. Who could honestly expect him to be? With all that chafing going on, he probably wouldn't be able to chase anything down for at lest a week. He was only thinking of their safety, after all!

So, why in hell would they take offense to his being a little pushy in his haste to get to the water to clean himself off? Maybe he should have been a bit more careful when he shoved the monk out of his way, but, damn it, he had to cleanse the gluey juice from his life before it caused any more problems. He just didn't want to think about where Kagome would insist on putting ointment if walking became any more painful.

So he'd pushed the monk as he passed him, big deal. It wasn't his fault that Miroku had lost his balance and had fallen down the hill. Besides, hadn't he caught the girls trying not to let anyone see their smiles as the Hoshi did a fair impression of a runaway boulder as he rolled down the slope? Of course, they had run to his aid, but he would be willing to bet his sword that the coughs he heard between their words of comfort were only there to cover any laughter they couldn't help but let out. So why did she think he was the only one that should be punished? And why did she have to say that word when his hakama had decided to stick in a very sensitive place?

Keh!

Once he could pick himself up, and pick his clothing from certain parts of his body, he made his way as stealthily as he could to the screaming beacon of the water. He reasoned that it was better to simply wade into the water fully dressed. That way he could rid his clothes and himself of the bedeviling juice at one time. Besides, he knew the others would soon be there, and he had no desire to lose any scant dignity he still possessed by standing before them naked. They had all seen his tessaiga, after all; there was no point in letting them compare it to his other sword. No matter what anyone else said, he knew that size _**did **_matter!

He had just breathed a sigh of relief over having his clothing release it's grasp on his body, when the others arrived at the water's edge. Now why was Kagome looking at him that way? The monk didn't look so bad to him. Miroku had taken more damage in battles in the past, hadn't he? Nobody had been forced to apologize then, so why did she think he had to say sorry to the monk, now? Couldn't she see that, as their leader, if he admitted that anything he did was accidental, it would undermine all his actions? The hell if he was going to beg for the monk's forgiveness! He'd just have to get over it on his own. But he knew that Kagome didn't like to be thwarted in her desires, so he'd tried to make his way as far from her as possible, without giving up the blessed comfort of the water.

He'd thought how the fates had finally smiled at him; this stream was unusually large. He'd been able to put a little distance between himself and Kagome. The going had been slow, due to all the deep pools at the bottom of the streambed. He'd turned to face the others of his pack, when his foot had started to slip into what felt like a very deep pool. Being a superior being, he'd smirked to himself as he'd regained his balance without falling. He'd like to see any of the other be able to do that! No wonder he was the leader of this group!

Just as the superior attitude had settled over his mind, he'd heard that word as he'd felt the cold water rush up to meet his face.

Keh!

How could she have done that, when he was standing in the water? He'd just had time to take one good breath before he found himself submerged in that same deep pool that he'd avoided only moments ago. He'd never really thought about whether or not the beads would work under water, but apparently they did; fate just wouldn't have dealt him any other outcome. As he felt his body settle on the murky bottom, he'd decided that water was a hell of a better place to be sat than rocks. It had felt like he was floating. But he was floating, wasn't he? He's have to keep that in mind, the next time he made Kagome angry–always look for water.

As he'd felt his body settle on the bottom of the pool, he'd waited patiently for the spell to wear off. He'd known that with his superior body, he would be able to hold his breath long enough to not have to worry about running out of air.

While he'd waited, he'd felt something nudge his side. Even with his superhuman eyesight, he hadn't been able to discern what it was since the silt from the streambed had been stirred up, but it had felt like it was something _**big**_! Just then he'd felt something push at the back of his head. Damn, this was getting serious! As the water had started to clear, he'd been able to make out dark shapes circling above him.

Why did it feel as if his hair was being pulled out in small clumps? And why were the giant gray configurations growing in number? Why hadn't the beads' spell worn off yet? Damn, Kagome must have been mad when she'd said it! Fighting against the spell that had still been trying to keep him under water, he'd managed to raise his head enough to see just what the hell kept pulling at his hair. Who would have guessed that gluey, purple hair strands that smelled like berries were so attractive to fish? Slowly raising from the bottom of the stream, he'd grabbed a giant catfish in each arm, and even managed to catch hold of a few trout, too.

No one had bothered to tell him that slimy fish were hard to hold onto. After a few near-loses, he'd decided to throw them on the bank, by the remainder of his pack. Maybe he had thrown them a little closer that he'd meant to, but Shippou would get over it once he woke up. As long as the kit could fill his belly, he wouldn't stay mad, after all.

So why wasn't he basking in Kagome's admiration? Why wasn't she thanking him for providing enough food for a respectable dinner? And why the hell did she still have that look in her eyes? He'd decided that the best tactic in this situation was to retreat as quickly and as far as he possibly could before she could say that word.

Having learned his lesson during his last episode in the water, he used his feet to feel for another pool on the stream bed. Satisfied that he'd found the edge of something large enough to meet his needs, he turned to face the still lecturing miko.

With a look of detached disdain, he'd launched his defense. He'd provided for them, after all. And it was up to them to do what was necessary after that, wasn't it? Even if that meant dodging the food on it's way to becoming dinner.

Why did it seem like that just made them all the madder? He'd met his responsibilities, so why did they think it was his fault when Shippou hadn't met his? And why did she have to laugh as she said that word?

Keh!

As he'd felt his face rushing to meet the surface of the water once again, he had smugly congratulated himself on both his learning speed and his forethought. His thoughts had quickly changed, as he'd found that the placement of his feet hadn't been given the same consideration as his positioning. Finding himself heading for the shallow side of the streambed, rather than the deeper pool, he'd had to put his body through some very strenuous contortions. So why the hell did they all think it was a good idea to laugh so hard he could still hear them underwater?

When he'd broken the surface of the water with his face for the second time that day, he'd discovered that this pool wasn't quite as deep as the first had been. Keeping his eyes open as he'd descended gently toward the bottom, he'd been surprised to find it was already occupied.

How in the name of everything holy or unholy could a fish that big fit in a pool that small? And just how was he supposed to fit in the pool with it? Feeling himself slamming into the monster fish, he'd grabbed hold in a fit of self-preservation. As the subjugation spell pressed them both to the bottom, the hapless hanyou could tell the colossus catfish had a temper to rival any demon's.

No one could have expected him to have know how far out of the water a fish that size could jump, could they? Who would have guessed that the bottom dweller could make it up to the stream's bank in one leap? And why would he have any reason to know that fish had excellent aim?

Just as he'd noticed that the trajectory of the leaping lump of fish fry would take them right into the middle of his pack, he saw **that **look in his Kagome's eyes.

Keh!

At least the forced impact with the ground had rendered the fish unconscious. And landing on a fish wasn't the worst thing in the world. It wasn't as soft as floating, but it wasn't as sticky as berry juice, either.

8888

As he'd finished putting the last flourish to his written account of the day, he'd taken a moment to look around at the aftermath of the day's activities. Not only had he provided enough food for his friends, but they had invited the entire population of a nearby village to a fish feast!

So why was he stuck up in a tree with a book, once again? Looking down at the fresh inscription before him, he couldn't resist the smirk that washed across his face. No one could possibly have a problem with his entry, this time.

Jumping down from his perch in the tree, he'd handed the book over to Kagome with the look of a wounded martyr. What could possibly be making the steam rise from her that way? It was only the truth, after all.

When he looked down at the book, he saw:

Because _**someone**_ didn't think to pack enough food, I had to spend all damn day providing for my friends, and the rest of the damn world. You would think at least one of them would say thank you.

As his face hit the dirt once again, he'd had time to speculate about how long it would take to get the purple stains out of his skin.

Keh!

8888

Thank you to all who take the time to read this story. An extra-special thank you, with a big red bow, to all who take the time to leave a review!

Manga- I don't think anyone could ever sympathize enough to satisfy Inuyasha. That would just take all the fun out of it.

Malitiadixie- thank you for all your kind words. Next is futuristic family fun with cats and computers. It's really hard to shake the alliteration thing once it gets into your brain!

Catbaker- thank you for being a wonderful friend. Isiaha has some great ideas for the next chapter and computers. I just have to find a way to work them all in, but they involve scoring.

Theruthlesscow- thank you so much. It's just so much fun to put Inuyasha through so much torment. I love the journal, too. Otherwise it would just be a collection of one-shots. And keep writing!!


	5. Chapter 5

To Catbaker- Thank you for helping me understand why i was having so many problems getting this chapter done.

chapter 5

Finding himself in a tree was not unusual, but having this damn book with him was becoming a habit he really didn't want to continue. And it was all over nothing! How could she not see that he hadn't done anything to deserve this? Would she ever consider just what he went through for her? Hadn't he come all the way back to her time for her, just to make sure she was protected?

It was true that the monk, the slayer and the kitsune had all grown tired of a moping, bored hanyou getting in the way of everything they had tried to do. It was also true that Kaede had banished him from her hut until Kagome returned, just because he'd mixed up some of the herbs on her shelf. He'd only been trying to help. Was it his fault that they all looked so much alike? It wasn't like the villager had been permanently harmed, after all! A few days and the effects would wear off, anyway. But it was fun to watch in the meantime. The guy had been walking around, trying to pick flowers that weren't there, talking about colors coming alive, and trying to do things that he should know no human body could do. Why did they think it was his fault that the whole village had to guard the baka from hurting himself?

So, he'd decided to come to Kagome's time, just in case she forgot when she was supposed to come back to him. Not that she would ever do that, right? The times that she had been late must have some other explanation. He didn't know what he would do if he ever thought he wasn't as important to her, as she was to him.

Putting the idea out of his mind, he'd jumped through the well, and found himself on Kagome's side of the time line. Now, he would have no problem keeping her under his watchful eye, and out of trouble. It was so hard when he couldn't see her. Everyone knew what a klutzy girl she was, after all. She needed him to always protect her, didn't she?

So why didn't she seem happy to see him, when he'd found her at the breakfast table? And what did she mean when she'd said she would be gone all day? She knew he couldn't follow her to that school of hers, so why did she think it would be a good idea for her to spend all day there, without him? And just because he'd gotten a little loud when he was trying to tell her that she had to spend some time with him, why did she have to say that word, then slam the door on her way out?

Keh!

At least there were people here that would still talk to him. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day, after all. So why did it look like everyone else was leaving, too? Maybe he should have been able to figure out that if Kagome had to go to school, her little brother would have to do the same. But honestly, how could one family think so much school was a good idea? Didn't they see the problems it caused for his Kagome? Why hadn't they learned their lesson when it came to her brother?

He had thought his family had problems, but this one was just asking for trouble!

And why had Kagome's mother put her coat on? What was this store she'd thought she had to go to? Didn't she know that if she'd needed food, he was perfectly capable of hunting? Sure, there may not have been an abundance of game around their home, but he'd known that he could have found something. And he had been just a little bit apprehensive when she'd told him that she was sure Jii-chan would be able to take care of him, while she was gone. The old man got on his nerves!

So, now he was supposed to spend the day alone in this strange house, with nothing to keep him occupied, except for one very lazy cat, and one very agitated old priest. What could possibly have made this day worse?

He knew that he shouldn't have asked himself that question, because just then, fate had reared it's ugly head and had looked him square in the eye, once more. The old man had informed him that he had some stock out in the shed that needed to be inventoried. How the hell had the ancient priest thought that would be anything he would be interested in doing?

After spending a few hours moving boxes from one spot to another so the old man could go through them, only to have to move them back to where they'd started , he'd decided that he'd had enough. If the old fart really liked all this old junk so much, he would just bring some back with him the next time he came through the well. And it wouldn't be all dusty, and make him sneeze all day, like these boxes had. Besides, why did there have to be so damn many boxes? The old guy wouldn't miss a few, would he?

The old man hadn't even realized that almost half of the boxes weren't in the pile to be inventoried, and then moved right back to where they'd started the day. No, they had been residing in the well house, waiting patiently for him to secretly take them back to the past, where he would be able to dispose of their musty contents at his leisure. Kagome would be **so** proud of him when she found out that he'd thinned out some the useless crap her Jii-chan insisted was priceless!

When the last box had been brought out of the shed, and deposited in the sunlight of the courtyard, the old man had told him he could take a break. He'd sat in the tree for a little while, but honestly, with the old man muttering to himself about the history of this thing, and that article, how could anyone expect him to be able to take the nap he had planned on?

So, with a sigh of resignation, he'd headed for the house. The deep rumble in his stomach had reminded him that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. He'd never been left alone with all the wonderful ninja food from Kagome's time, before. He'd planned on making good use of this situation. Thoughts of having to dig himself out of a heaping mound or ramen noodles swam through his head, as he'd entered the house.

On his way to the kitchen, he'd seen that fat cat of Kagome's. He'd never seen a cat that grotesquely overweight before he'd met Kagome. What had they done to it? What kind of tortured life had the cat led, to end up in this state? If Kagome and her family weren't strong enough to help the fat feline get back into fighting form, he would have to take the matter into his own hands. They would thank him later.

So swooping down on the cat, he'd grabbed it around it's enormous belly, intending to take the gluttonous lump to Kagome's room, to torture – er, exercise– in private. He'd quickly found out that even fat cats had sharp claws. The cat had the nerve to sink one of those razor edged barbs into the soft flesh of his wrist! Did the cat have a death wish? Could it be so stupid as to think he wouldn't retaliate? First, though, he'd had to find a way to remove the claw from hell from his wounded wrist.

Waving his arm above his head had only served to entice the cat to add two more claws to the maiming act in which the first claw was still participating. Damn! How could one out of shape mound of fat cause him so much pain?

Grabbing the blubbery bundle of fur around the middle, he finally managed to separate his arm from the miniature cat daggers, but Buyo picked that moment to do a cat impersonation of a giant pretzel. Who would have thought that a cat as rotund as this could twist like that? And why did it seem like the very fires of hell possessed the cat in it's desire to sink it's claws into his bones? This was quickly becoming personal!

He refused to be bested by this crafty cat and it's desire to ruin all the good will he had spent so much time building with Kagome's family. He would find a way to remove the cat from his flesh, even if it led to the cat's death. They did have nine lives, didn't they? Why would it be a problem if he used one of those to get the slovenly eating machine into shape? After all, he was more cunning than a simple feline, wasn't he? He had more battle experience, and prided himself in keeping his body strong and fit. One small, overweight ball of sarcasm shouldn't be much of a problem, should it?

With his resolve reinstated, he squared off mentally, and stood ready to let the cat know just who was boss. In that same instant, Buyo decided to sink all his claws into the hapless hanyou's puffed out chest.

Being a being of great physicality, Inuyasha's immediate reaction to the imbedding of the stinging barbs in his body was to run straight into the wall, to try and gently persuade the cat to let go. Unfortunately for the furniture placement in the room, there was no clear path to any wall.

After the graceless termination of the obstacles in his path, the hanyou crashed headlong into the old man's bedroom! Turning around in bewilderment, he noticed the cat was no longer attached to his body, having seen reason in leaving the boy on his own in the destruction of the house.

Inuyasha sniffed in disdain, as he saw his furry opponent rush up the stairs at a speed he would not have thought possible. Now that he had prevailed in removing the cat from his person, he could see the path of destruction the battle had wrought.

The hole in the wall of the living room only served to bring more light and air into Kagome's Jii-chan's room, so it wasn't a problem, he decided. The pile of kindling, that was once a low table, and the two broken lamps were another story. But how could anyone fault him for that? He'd only been trying to help get the cat in shape, after all.

Giving up on the cat-tastrophy that was the living room, he decided that he might as well find something to fill his stridently demanding stomach. The kitchen seemed like a safe place to stay out of trouble. He could make some ramen by himself. He'd watched Kagome do it enough times, hadn't he. How hard could it be if she could manage it?

It had taken a little longer than he'd expected to find the foodstuff that he wanted. He'd had to go through practically every cupboard in the place. Why did they have to keep something as wonderful as ramen in such an out of the way place?

Knowing Kagome as well as he did, he just knew she would be upset if he put things back in the wrong place, so he decided to leave everything right where it had ended up, after his search for the wonderful ramen. Kagome would know where to put them when she got home, right?

He remembered how Kagome had heated water on the stove, and poured the hot water over the noodles in the squeaky cups. Then came the torture of waiting for it to sit long enough to soften the noodles. How he hated that time, all the while being able to smell the delicious food, and not being able to even taste it.

He thought he might be able to find a better way to accomplish his goal; one that would circumvent that terrible waiting time, and save a few steps along the way. Nothing that could get his ramen into his stomach faster could be bad, could it? Leave it to a man to be able to simplify things! She would thank him when he'd tried out his theory, and could teach her how to do it right.

He hadn't had any trouble adding water to the noodles. That strange indoor water spout was really a nice thing to have. But after he'd set the cup on the heating spot on that stove, he couldn't understand why it didn't heat.

He'd tried everything that he could think of to get the noodles to heat, but this strange stove had no place to put the kindling, or build a fire. He had thought that the large opening below the cooking spots was for the fire, but even he could see that it was much too clean to ever have held a fire. He really didn't want to make Kagome's mother mad at him, so he had used every bit of consideration he could manage, and left his beloved noodles where they were, while he tried to cipher how this stove worked. Why did everything in this time have to be so complicated?

Thinking that physical exertion might encourage his brain to work out it's problem, he'd decided to go out and see if the old man was ready to move the remaining boxes back to storage.

As he exited the kitchen, and made his way into the courtyard, he could still hear the old priest muttering to himself about missing antiquities. Having always prided himself on his ability to understand the emotions of others, he'd decided that now might not be the best time to interrupt the old man.

With his smirk giving testimony to the greatness of his forethought, he decided that a stroll around the shrine grounds might prove distracting enough to allow his overworked mind to grasp the complexities of the kitchen stove. Looking up, he noticed that the sun was well past it's zenith. He'd spent more time with the damn fuzz ball than he'd realized.

Before he could complete his first trip around the grounds, he'd been hit by a familiar scent. It wasn't his Kagome, but under the circumstances, it was the next best thing. The kid was almost home from school. At least he might be able to provide some distraction.

Waiting at the top of the stairs as patiently as he could, he failed to notice the bent-on-revenge cat creeping up behind. With a swift swipe of his claws, the vindictive mouse trap left a stinging trail across the unprotected foot that was displayed before it.

With his attention returned so abruptly to his immediate surroundings, Inuyasha made a lunge for the offending animal. Once again, he was shocked at just how fleet the damn thing could be. He was left clutching nothing but air.

As he stood, holding his wounded foot, shaking his fist at the retreating form of the feline, he had no idea what type of impression he was making for the boy who now stood at the bottom of the stairs. His only thoughts were focused on the smirking look that he was sure he'd seen on the cat's face, before it had taken off for parts unknown. As soon as he had the opportunity, he was going to teach that cat a lesson he'd never forget!

Just then, he felt himself being pulled along the walkway to the house. Turning to see Kagome's brother, he'd had to cover his ears to protect them form all the noise coming from the boy's mouth.

The kid was going on about some new game he wanted them to play. It might be a good way to pass the time until Kagome got home. He had no idea what surround sound was, but the swords and fighting Souta kept talking about sounded like just what he needed. He might even ask the squirt how to heat up that stove, if he got the chance.

He watched with interest, as the younger boy made preparations for their battle. Personally, he didn't think there would be enough room in Souta's bedroom for a good work out, but he was never one to argue, was he? He'd started to draw his sword, when the brat clicked on the picture box, and the window rattling noise began.

By the gods, what type of being could make that much racket? As soon as he realized that he was now lying on the floor, covering his sensitive ears, he jumped up, ready to protect the boy from whatever was attacking. Kagome might be upset if she came home to find her brother damaged, after all.

Souta was standing before him holding out a small, two part contraption, that was joined by some type of cord thingy. It didn't take him long to figure things out, and he came to the disappointing conclusion that the kid only wanted to play one of the video games he liked so much.

He couldn't quite grasp what this 'virtual reality' was, but he listened to the kid's instructions on how to work the damn thing in his hand. It seemed as if he could not only use it to control weapons in this game, but the people, themselves. He would have to coordinate his moves to match what he wanted them to make, while pressing command buttons that forced them into different attacking or defensive actions.

This was beginning to sound way too complicated, but if the brat could do it, there was no way he was going to back down from the challenge. Setting his resolve, he and the kid began their match. It was surprising how quickly the series of buttons to push combined with the movements of his body. He just took naturally to any type of battle, he reasoned. The kid was pretty good, himself.

Sure, they might have knocked a few things out of place in the room while going through their battle moves, but you had to put everything you could into a fight, didn't you? At least he'd always had to. He just wished that he could have found a way to take this game back home. It might help in trying to train Shippou. The kit was way too soft!

They'd become so involved with the fighting game, that he failed to notice Kagome's return. He realized that she must be home when he heard a distant 'sit', and felt the accompanying pull of the damn rosary.

Keh!

What the hell could she be mad about! He hadn't even said one word to her! Hell, he hadn't even seen her, yet!

Picking himself up off the floor, he went to the window, and looked out to the direction that her voice had come from. He could see his missing miko trying to comfort her sobbing Jii-chan in the courtyard below. He might be able to find out what the problem was, if he could just hear what they were saying to each other. But the damn kid was going on about something, again. All he could hear was the brat talking about some new, unknown move, that scored an unbelievable amount of points. He couldn't have cared any less about these points, whatever they were. He just wanted to know what had made Kagome so mad!

He'd seen her marching determinedly into the house, when he'd heard that word coming up from the kitchen, below.

Keh!

Now what could her problem be? Hadn't he been particularly considerate when he was in the kitchen? He hadn't wanted to put anything in the wrong place, after all.

He knew she was heading to the living room next. Even he could see that she might have a problem with the table and lamps that were still in pieces. Damn, he knew he should have put those in the well house, with the boxes.

He might be able to think up an excuse, but the kid was making one hell of a racket. He was even louder than before. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what the brat wanted him to do again. Could the boy be so deranged that he liked seeing his sister slam his supposed hero into the ground repeatedly? Looking over at the boy, he saw that the kid's eyes were still fixed on the picture box. The brat had no idea what was going on in the room. He'd have to work on that with the kid. It could get you killed in a real fight. Kagome would appreciate his interest in her brother's safety, wouldn't she? Maybe it would even earn him some of those points with her.

Before he'd had a chance to do anything to prevent the inevitable, he'd heard a series of very shrill words coming from the lower level.

Keh!

How many times was she going to say that word over a table and a couple of lamps? His body was being slammed repeatedly into the floor with such force that he thought he might just end up in the old man's bedroom with her. He could feel his arms and legs flailing each time that word came out of her mouth. She continued to say it as he heard her climbing the stairs. Even as she was walking down the hall, that one particular word continued to leave her mouth.

The damn kid was getting more excited by the minute. What did he care about some ultimate hall of fame. He'd quit playing the stupid game when Kagome had returned, hadn't he? He had more important things on his mind, right then. Kagome standing right outside the door, ready to walk into the room, being foremost on the list of things that was occupying his thoughts.

His mind was still trying to decide the best defense against a mad miko when she burst through the door. As she stormed into the room, the words of the lecture she had planned on delivering were already leaving her mouth. In the confusion, neither noticed the furtive form of the stalking feline enter with Kagome.

Just as the girl reached the height of her strident recriminations, the cat chose to launch it's attack. Displaying it's deceptive speed, it made a beeline for the unsuspecting hanyou's face. The row of scratches that appeared on his cheek were meant to serve as a red reminder of who was top dog in the animal kingdom.

All thoughts of Kagome's lecture, and her state of mind immediately left his brain. Just who the hell did that cat think it was, attacking like that? This was something that he couldn't let slide! The cat had just taken it past the personal point, and declared all out war!

He'd made a calculated lunge for the cat, and would have caught him this time. He would have, if he hadn't forgotten about being fettered by that darn piece of the game he realized he was still holding in both of his hands. Just as he found that his balance was upset enough to cause him to land on his face, she had said that word. It had only served to add insult to injury, as the cat had snuck swiftly through the still open door.

So, now he sat in a very familiar tree, even if it was in a not so familiar time, with an all too familiar book open in his lap. He'd known all along what he'd wanted to say, he only wanted to think about the best way to say it. He'd learned how Kagome could take things the wrong way, after all.

After a few false starts, he finally found just the right words. He wrote them all down carefully. He didn't want to take any chances with anything going wrong, or being misunderstood this time. Reading them over one last time, he felt the smirk of satisfaction on his face. He saw:

I gave up my time to help Kagome's family.

I uncluttered the storage shed and living room.

I gave her fat cat some much needed exercise.

I improved the light and air flow in her Jii-chan's bedroom.

I was self-sufficient in my own food needs.

I kept her brother occupied, and gave him my place on his game's high score list.

For all my unselfish attention to her family, I received a sore back, cat scratches all over, the permanent imprint of the game's controller thingy on my chest and Kagome's mad at me, again.

As he watched Kagome read his entry, he could see the look of anger rising in her eyes. He knew what was coming, and prepared for it the best way that he could. As he heard the word, he felt the familiar pull, and found himself face down, on the ground, once again.

Keh!

Lying on the stone courtyard, he couldn't help the small smile that found a place on his face. The thought of the cat, hidden in one of the boxes in the well house, was enough to make everything worthwhile.

8888

Manga- He does have his own unique way of looking at things, doesn't he? That's why it's so much fun putting him through all this.

Megan- Isiaha said thank you. He wants to be a writer, someday. Either a writer or a poke-mon trainer, he hasn't really made up his mind.

Malitiadixie- I think your kind words may be a little biased, too. But I love them all the same. I loved your new songfic. Everyone should read it!

Theruthlesscow- Poor Inuyasha. If he wasn't so lovable, this couldn't be funny. Maybe someday they will both see things from the other's point of view. But at least Kirara understands.


	6. Chapter 6

With a request from Isiaha for a chapter set in Inuyasha's time, with a priest like Kagome's grandpa, the squirrel from the first chapter, and a tribute to our departed Cocoa Bunny, this is what came out.

Chapter 6

Okay, so maybe some of the other times he might have deserved to have this damn book as his punishment, but how could anyone fault his behavior, this time? Why did he have to try and justify his perfectly justifiable actions in these pages? And on top of everything, there wasn't even a decent tree for him to write in.

It hadn't even been his idea to stop in this damn village. The monk had insisted that this was a village in need of exorcisms as soon as the hoshi had seen the grandness of the homes.

But he hadn't been fooled. He'd seen the glare of greed in the lecher's eyes. It wasn't only women Miroku lusted after, was it? The seduction of easy money was a strong motivation for the monk, too.

Kagome and Sango had taken one look at the elaborate baths and decided that if Miroku needed a month the exorcize the evil spirits of the village, they would let him have that much, and more.

Shippou was quickly surrounded by a group of village girls who had never seen a fox demon, before. The promise of sweet dumplings and all the attention he could want was enough to guarantee the kitsune wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon.

How could he have picked such a soft bunch for his pack? Didn't they realize that there were shards to find, and demons to fight? How much rest and pampering could they take, before they lost their fighting edge?

They had already been here for three days, and the bouzu still had the village convinced that the number of spirits that remained would necessitate an extended stay. The village might have had spirits and minor demons that needed to be taken care of when they'd first arrived, but they'd been cleared out in the first morning.

It wasn't going to be easy to convince them to leave, but he was patient, wasn't he? He'd learned that much from Kagome's insistent harping, after all. He would just have to use his diplomatic, persuasive skills to the height of his ability. He would charm their asses off! And if that didn't work, he still had Tessaiga, didn't he? The sword could be damn persuasive!

The biggest problem with his plan was the village priest. The old goat was even worse than Kagome's Jii-chan. The old faker couldn't write a sutra that would stop an ant, let alone an evil spirit. The ji-jii had been most appreciative of their arrival and help in eradicating the problems that had been plaguing the village. Now, the old guy was encouraging the monk in insisting that the evil wasn't completely gone from the village. If there were no more evil spirits, there would be no need for the old priest, would there? The fool had gotten comfortable with the offerings of thanks, just as much as Miroku had.

Since he was the only one to see the need to move on, the priest had decided that he was a demon in need of eradicating. The old man had taken to following him around, throwing useless sutras and charms at him. Just yesterday, while he'd been out fishing, the ji-jii had tried to put a barrier around the whole village. Not that it had stopped him. No damn fool was going to keep him from his Kagome!

He'd had no choice but to make sure the priest didn't try to do that again, didn't he? He wouldn't have hurt him much, anyway. So just when he'd been about to teach the old guy who was boss, why did the very person he wanted to make sure was always protected have to say the one word that rendered him helpless?

Keh!

He couldn't seem to shake the old guy. Everywhere he went, he could see those beady, wrinkled eyes looking at him. Hell, every time he'd felt the call of nature, he'd had to run miles outside of the village, just to be able to relieve himself in private. Talk about things getting personal!

Maybe he had taken it a little too far when he'd put the priest in the cave, and sealed the entrance with a boulder. He would have let the old man out before they left. It would have served to speed their departure, if he'd only remembered to tell the others of the priest's hostage status. It had been a good plan, all the way around. He'd simply forgotten the last step.

Besides, the ji-jii had only been locked away for a day and a half before Miroku had realized he was missing. Even weak humans could survive that long, couldn't they? So why had she exploded like that? He'd never realized that she could say that word so often in such a short period of time. And with such clarity and force!

Keh!

After the spell had worn off, he'd been forced to not only free the old man, but to apologize to him, as well. All the while, the old faker had been giving him the evil eye. It was enough to make him want to seal himself in the cave, just to have some privacy.

He'd just decided to find the monk, and try a little of his persuasive skill, when he noticed the old man's beady little eyes looking at him from behind one of the village huts. He couldn't see anything else of the priest, but he would recognize those eyes anywhere! Looking around, he couldn't see anyone else in the vicinity.

Quicky drawing his sword, he took careful aim. This would probably be the only chance he had to rid the world of the curse of the meddling priest. He brought his sword down with a mighty cry of "Wind Scar", and rushed over to survey the damage.

Turning the corner of the hut, he'd been surprised to find one semi-conscious, fluffy bunny in the place he'd expected to find the old man. Looking further, he'd noticed a stack of stunned squirrels just beyond the hut. He had no desire to give aid to the damn tree rats, but the little bunny was another story, altogether. He was glad that the little thing had been closer to the ground than he'd been aiming, or there wouldn't have been enough of it left to make a good rabbit stew. Not that he would do that with something this adorable and fluffy.

He'd picked up the cute, lop-eared bunny, and looked closely at it. It had opened it's tiny black eyes, and twitched it's little pink nose at him. He could have sworn that it was looking at him with gratitude for saving it's life. He'd conveniently forgotten that he was the one that had caused the rabbit's life to be in danger in the first place.

He knew that his Kagome would be upset if she found out that he'd tried to use the wind scar on a cute, defenseless, little, fluffy bunny. She had a soft spot for things like that. Hell, look at how she took to Shippou. The brat had been trying to steal their jewel shards, and all she had wanted to do was give the kit a hug. He'd like to give the baka something, alright! His sneer widened as he thought of his persuasive sword whacking the kitsune's bottom a few times.

The state of the little bunny's health might be able to serve his desire to leave this village, though. If he could just find a way to point the finger of blame at the old priest, Kagome would demand to leave.

He'd tucked the cute-as-could-be little bunny into his haori, given the still stunned squirrels a dirty look, and set off to find Kagome. He hadn't taken more than two steps, when he felt the sweet little woodland creature moving around inside his shirt. It felt like the little guy was scratching and biting in there.

Maybe the fluff-ball was afraid of the dark. He couldn't blame the little thing if it was scared, but did it have to bite that hard? If he didn't know that he'd been the one to rescue the cute, little critter he might think that it was trying to hurt him. But this sweet little thing wouldn't do that, would it?

He'd pulled the little cottontail out of his haori, and looked at it's innocent little face again. The little guy just sat there, twitching it's cute, little, pink nose at him. How could anything that huggable have ulterior motives. It had been the epitome of ingenuousness. Well, all except for those beady little eyes that were so much like the damned fool priest's. They were really starting to give him the creeps.

While he was holding the furry ball of felicity, the damn thing had bitten him! He'd had no idea what would have made the little guy do that, but the poor little thing must have been scared out of it's cute little mind, right? Something as precious as his new little bunny friend could never be as vicious as to bite him, could it?

And why had those damn squirrels kept following him and his little, fluffy friend? He'd thought that they would have been knocked senseless for the rest of they day. But no, there they were, not ten paces behind him, chattering in that maddening tone that every squirrel he'd come across insisted on using.

He'd known that the tree rats were sneaky, vindictive creatures. The vile little beasts liked nothing more than to goad you into doing something rash, and then laughing at you. They were almost as bad as cats. Hell, he'd learned his lesson about both species, hadn't he?

He'd just decided that he might need his sword again, if he was to persuade the band of squirrels to go back to the forest, when he ran into Miroku. The monk was explaining to one of the village elders that another week, or two, should take care of the spirit problem. The hoshi had the nerve to inform the official that follow-up visits would be required, periodically, to make sure that the village was never plagued by such evil, again!

Honestly, how could the monk live with himself?

Looking down at his handful of hairy hare, he'd decided that he might have better luck trying to control his temper if he looked for Kagome, instead. So he'd set off in the direction of the girl's scent.

He'd heard the chattering behind him that had reminded him that the squirrels were still a matter that had to be taken care of. But his bunny buddy seemed to find comfort in the continuing presence of the stupid squirrels. He'd begun to doubt the rabbit's loyalty with all the scratching and biting that it had been doing, and now the seemingly misplaced affection for the flea carrying, tree climbing rodents.

Looking at that innocent, furry face again, he'd known he'd been mistaken. There was no way that this darling of the den could be deliberately trying to hurt him.

He'd put these thought to the side, and recommenced his search for the missing miko. It had seemed like his warded ward was silently communicating with the treacherous tree lovers. Every time the squirrels had chattered, the bunny would do that precious nose twitch, again. He'd decided that the twitch probably signified that the little guy was as annoyed by the squirrel's screak as he was. He'd conveniently forgotten that the bunny had twitched it's cute pink nose at him quite a few times.

So why did he have the feeling that his jumpy friend was plotting with the enemy?

Just as he'd seen Kagome and Sango emerge from the most well appointed bath in all of Japan, his lively liporid decided to leap out of his arms. His little burrowing good luck charm had run over to Kagome and sat there shivering and twitching as if it had been in fear for it's very life.

Kagome has looked at the pitiable lump of quivering fur, then had given him a look that made him think fondly of the cave he'd used to seal the priest. He would have given almost anything to have the protection of the boulder in front of him, then.

How could Kagome think he could have been responsible for the sad state of his new friend's fur? The singing and burns might have been caused by his wind scar, but he hadn't meant to hurt the sweet little thing. He'd been aiming at the priest. But he hadn't been able to tell his miko friend that, either. She wouldn't understand how much the old guy pissed him off.

He'd bent down to gather up his carrot munching friend, when the band of kamikaze squirrels decided to attack. Two of the tree dwelling gnawers had hit him from behind. Just as he'd started to spin around to see who could possibly be insane enough to attack his back, three more came at him. Trying to dodge the flying rodents, while attempting to dislodge the sharp little claws from his back, had him dancing the strangest jig that the girls had ever seen.

Feeling his temper escalate in time with the increasing volume of laughter from Kagome and Sango, he grabbed for his trusty sword. So why did she think it was fair to say that word?

Keh!

He'd found himself face down, on the ground, with a swarm of snapping squirrels on top of him. Looking toward the dominating priestess, he seen the beady little eyes of his bunny friend. He hadn't understood the look of apparent glee in those wicked little eyes. If he didn't know better, he would think that his fluffy little buddy was happy seeing him face down, in the dirt.

Something about the way that those eyes had looked at him had made him uneasy. The eyes bore a strange resemblance to those of the worthless priest. He'd thought about it for a fleeting moment, and decided that it was his imagination.

With as much speed as he could muster, he'd divested the squirrel's claws from his clothing. All those tiny tears were going to be hell to have to try and mend! He'd found himself sitting in the center of a ring of mixed animals and humans, the only connection they shared had seemed to be their anger. Anger that was directed solely at him.

Looking for any ally in this storm of wrath, he'd focused on the cuddly little rabbit. With a twitch of it's cute little nose, the rabbit had let him see the wrinkled face hiding behind the fur.

It was that worthless, bastard priest! How had the old man managed to disguise himself that way? More importantly, how was he going to be able to convince Kagome and the others of this deception?

The only option that presented itself to his beleaguered brain was to force the priest to confess. Lifting his hand to the handle of his sword, he heard the dreaded word, once again.

Keh!

This time, he could hear the clattery laughter coming from the band of tree dwellers, too. Roasted squirrel was beginning to sound like a very appetizing dinner, it tasted like chicken,anyway. Looking closely, he could make out the features of the village headman under the fur of the largest squirrel. The faces revealed behind the false fur covering worn by the other tree dwellers had looked familiar, too.

There was no way that the others would believe that all the cute woodland creatures led a double life as the village residents! He wouldn't have believed it himself, five minutes ago.

He'd had no choice, but to gather his group as fast as he could. He'd made a leap for the two women standing near, and had braved the levels of their screams of surprise to insure their safety.

He'd seen Shippou surrounded by the familiar group of girls. He'd been able to see the faces of small field mice hiding behind the young females' human heads. Was the entire town made up of these imposters?

Grabbing the kit, and making his way toward the spot that he'd last seen the monk, he'd passed a transformed Kirara. The giant cat had one of the older village residents backed up against the side of a hut, sniffing the old woman intently. He'd decided that the old hag must be a rat in disguise. He could always trust the cat to know what was going on.

He'd deposited the stunned slayer on the cat's broad back, and continued on with his search for the missing monk. The small group had just turned a corner, when he spied the lecherous bouzu holding the hand of a beautiful, young woman.

He'd slid to a halt as he'd been able to make out the form of a young she-bear beneath the mask of the willing maiden. He'd thought of just leaving the monk to suffer the consequences of his constant flirting, but he'd learned that the females of his group would not approve of such actions.

So, he'd pulled the monk away, just in time to help the hoshi avoid the most traumatizing embrace of his life. Throwing the bewildered monk onto the back of the fierce cat, to join the still screaming slayer, he'd taken the shortest route out of the strange village. It wasn't his fault that the quickest escape route took them through the village's refuse site, was it? At least she'd waited until they were past the dumping ground before she'd said that word!

Keh!

He'd managed to pick himself and his precious cargo up, and had set off at an even greater rate of speed. He'd been glad that Kirara had refused to let her passengers disembark. The cat had more sense than the rest of them, most times. Kirara hadn't been fooled by the village people, like Kagome, Sango, Shippou and Miroku had. He'd had that convenient memory lapse again, that precluded his remembering how he'd been taken in by a cute, little bunny.

He'd kept running until there were no trees in sight. He'd decided that he hated trees, and all the creatures that made their homes in trees. He'd seemed to have forgotten how often he'd slept in trees.

He'd found himself in the middle of the biggest damn meadow that he'd ever seen! Stopping to deposit the miko and kitsune, he seen Kirara doing the same with the monk and slayer. He hadn't been prepared for the volley of shouting that came from all around him, as his friends realized that the comfort of the village was theirs no longer.

And the cry of "sit, sit, sit" that reached his ears was unexpected, too. Hadn't he just saved them all from whatever it was, back in that strange village?

Keh!

So now he sat, at the highest point of the meadow, writing in the damn book, again. Maybe, if he wrote it down, he could make them see that the village was not what it appeared to be.

So he wrote:

I protected my friends from a village of shape altering animals.

I prevented whatever the shifty little animals wanted to do to us,while keeping my pack from getting lazy, and was rewarded by being punished, once again.

Giving the book over to Kagome, he'd been surprised to hear his friends talking about returning to the well-appointed village. How could they think that would be a good idea? And just what did they mean when they said that no one had been hurt, and why did that mean that it would be safe to go back ? And when he'd refused to take them back, why did she get so mad that she'd said that word, again?

Keh!

Smiling into the dirt, he realized it really didn't matter. He and Kirara were the only ones that knew the way back to the damned village, and he knew the cat wouldn't tell, either.

8888

Thank you to all who have stopped and read this story. I know what the time invested means in most people's busy schedules. Thank you from the bottom of both our hearts to those who have left a review, or bookmarked this story. It helps keep both of us motivated.

Abby Uchiha- thanks!

Kojika00- yes, we do have a cat-four of them, to be exact. Our oldest is 23 years old, now. She has taught me quite a bit about how sneaky cats can be! I'm glad that the ramen part came through. I wanted to keep it on the edge of disaster, but not let it topple over. I'm so glad that you're back to "The Hunt for the Sword of Legend", my red pen was getting rusty.

Catbaker- I think that with all the filler episodes they did, there was a lost opportunity for slapstick in regards to Inuyasha and Buyo. I always liked the interaction between them. Maybe it's because Richard Cox voiced both of them. Isiaha said hi, and he wanted me to tell you that he's still working on his vision of "Anime Village". And anyone who hasn't read your story "Darkness Before Dawn" should go read it right away! It's great.

Theruthlesscow- I'm always glad when I can make someone laugh. Even if I forget and take things too seriously, sometimes. Drop me a line sometime, and I promise I won't go all worried mom again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

So, now that he'd finished his latest entry in this most hated book, he thought about what a strange day it had been, indeed. Not only had he completed the damnable entry, but no one was mad at him. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened!

He'd started the day on a strange note. After all the walking of the previous day, everyone had been exhausted when they had decided to make camp. But why had Kagome been so mad when he'd told her the plain truth about the dinner she'd chosen to make? It wasn't his fault if the rice balls were lacking flavor, was it? And if she chose to call what she'd done to the trout, roasting, he'd rather eat them raw next time. After all, if he went to all the trouble of catching them, the least she could do was to find a way to prepare them so that they were edible, right?

So why had she gotten that look, as she stomped her foot on the ground? And what did she mean about him being an inconsiderate lout? Didn't she want to know how to make her cooking better? He just didn't understand that wench, sometimes. But he really should have known better than to try and make her see his side of things, just then. The glare in her eyes should have been enough to let him know that it was not a good time to point out her shortcomings.

Of course, if he'd stopped and listened to Sango and Miroku, he would have seen the folly of the path he was pursuing. Apparently they had been able to see that he'd pushed the miko to the brink, but damn it, why hadn't they tried harder to get his attention before she went over the edge? And why did she have to use that damn word to end the argument?

Keh!

After he'd dug himself out of his newest crater, he'd seen that the others were already situated for sleep. He'd hopped on the nearest branch, and closed his eyes for a little rest, only to wake with the dawn.

Not wanting to let the best traveling weather of the day go to waste, he'd done what needed to be done to rouse the others. Kirara was ready to begin the day, but he could always count on the cat, couldn't he? Shippou had been a little harder, but when he'd lifted the kit up by the tail, Shippou had let out a yell that should have been enough to wake the dead. It hadn't worked to wake the humans of the traveling group, though. Honestly, how could they live with that pathetic human hearing?

He'd had to dodge a hard right hook when he'd tried to wake Sango. Damn, but that was one strong woman! Even in her sleep, she was always ready to defend herself. Maybe her 'wake up swinging' attitude had something to do with how close to her that Miroku had chosen to sleep. Maybe he should have taken it for a warning from the gods.

When he'd knelt down to shake Miroku awake, the damn monk's hand had massaged his ass! It didn't take long for his own right hook to connect with the hoshi's head. He'd known that the words that left his mouth were enough to make a drunken sailor blush, and that they had been even louder than Shippou's yell. But why did his Kagome have to say that word, before her eyes were even fully open? Even a sleepy sit still packed a punch, apparently.

Keh!

While waiting patiently for the monk to reawaken, Kagome had suggested that she and Sango fix breakfast. He'd learned his lesson the night before, hadn't he? He'd known that no good could come from a mad miko making a meal! So he'd politely refused. He'd even said no _**thanks**_ ! He'd informed her that he would rather find something that he **could** eat. He probably shouldn't have added that having Sango help would be about the only thing that could make Kagome's breakfast worse than it normally was.

He'd used every bit of decorum and restraint that the situation warranted, he thought. So why did Sango tell him to run, as she led Kagome in the opposite direction. At least the slayer had kept her hand over Kagome's mouth. He didn't know why, but he'd just known that another mouthful of dirt had been in his near future.

Once everyone was finally awake, and the campsite packed away, most of the cool morning air had evaporated into one of the hottest days of the summer. But the air temperature was nothing compared to the temperature of the temperaments of his pack.

Since Kagome had refused to ride on his back, they were all relegated to walking. It made for a slow, hot journey. Every time he'd chanced a glance at one of his companions, the scowls of displeasure that he saw returned were enough to make him cringe. How in all the hells could Miroku be mad at him? The lump on the monk's head would fade long before the memory of the hoshi's hand on his ass would be forgotten!

But he was a fast learner, wasn't he? He'd seen the futility in trying to plead his case to his friends. So he'd simply decided to put a little distance between himself and the others, and scout the area ahead.

No sooner than the first bend in the road took him out of their sight line had he heard them start talking, again. Maybe they'd forgotten how much better his hanyou hearing was than their weak human hearing, but he'd been able to hear that they were talking about him! And it most definitely was not complementary!

Being the kind, forgiving hanyou that he was, he'd decide to let it pass, unpunished. He'd show them he knew how to manage his anger! Even though the effort of restraining his reactions was causing a twitch to form over his right eye, he'd been determined not to give in to the sudden desire to uproot the nearby forest.

When he'd heard Shippou use some of the same words that he'd used that morning in describing his intelligence, he'd given up all thoughts of restraint. Someone had to teach the kit a lesson, and apparently Kagome wasn't planning on doing it. Why did she think it was okay to sit him for using 'that language', when all she did to the brat was to say something about not giving in to bad influences?

He'd made his approach to Shippou's position at a dead run, ready to make sure the kit hit the ground as hard as he'd been forced to for saying those words, when out of nowhere a strange scent had made it's way to his sensitive nose. Stopping short in the middle of a dead run was about as much fun as getting sat on a pile of rocks!

With twice the speed of a well aimed backlash wave, his mind had changed directions, There had been another demon approaching! His Kagome would need protecting! This was what he lived for. The thrill of an upcoming battle had taken over his entire being, so much so that his mind hadn't registered the shouts from his friends telling him to wait for them.

One shout had reached his adrenalin flushed brain, though. It was the one word that was sure to get his attention, spoken by the one person who had the power to use it!

Keh!

Spitting out the dust and pebbles that had been part of the trail only a moment before, he'd jumped to his feet as soon as he was able. He'd only been doing what he was meant to do! Couldn't she see that speed was of the essence? And what the hell had the others been talking about? There was no time to 'devise a plan of action'. The damn monk thought too much, anyway. There was a time to think, and a time to do! This had definitely been a time to do!

So, chancing another swift introduction to the ground, he'd taken off again. But this time, he'd left her with a warning not to say that word when he was trying to protect her.

Reaching a clearing before the others, he'd spotted the strangest damn dragon he'd ever seen. Dragons were long and thin, weren't they? Why the hell did this one look like it had swallowed half a mountain? The damn thing could hardly walk, it was so fat! It was waddling and swaying all over the place. What the hell was it's problem?

But he had to remove the danger, before the danger had a chance to get close to his Kagome, didn't he? Protecting her was the one thing he knew how to do, and do well!

So why had she insisted on following him right into the last place he would have wanted her to be? Well, maybe not the last place, but pretty damn close to it. Honestly, how in the world had she managed to keep herself alive before she'd met him? Why did she never listen when he told her to stay back, and out of the way?

With her that close to the dangerous dragon, he'd had no choice but to engage the misshapen, flying lizard in an impromptu battle. But he was at his best when he made things happen on the fly, wasn't he? All that thinking and planning that the others liked to do just gave him a headache, anyway.

Jumping into full battle mode, he'd charged at the big green meanie, only to pull his attack short as the behemoth seemed to trip, right before his eyes. Unfortunately, he could see that the height that the giant commanded would mean that he would be buried under massive amounts of dragon flesh! Not seeing any way out of the situation, he'd steeled himself for the impact, when he'd heard Kagome say the one word that caused an altogether different impact.

Keh!

Finding himself in a very deceptive deformity in the ground, he'd looked up to see he'd been sheltered from the monster's body by the concave nature of the ground beneath him. Had Kagome been able to see the dip in the earth? Had she said that word just to save him from being turned into a dragon's body art? No, that couldn't be right, Kagome just wasn't that smart, was she?

Wiggling his way out from under the massive bulk, he'd looked at his friends in time to see his miko's self-satisfied smirk, and hear her use that 'I told you so' voice. Just what the hell had she meant when she'd looked at the others and asked if she'd been right, or if she'd been right? That hadn't even made sense. And they said he was the thickheaded one! But he'd had to admit that she'd probably saved his life. He'd just wished she'd been able to find a less painful way to do it.

Regaining his footing, he'd noticed that the dragon was standing, too. It still looked damn silly, with it's long body and big gut. The ungainly way it moved belied the usual grace of the dragon clan, but that should just make it easier to bring down, right?

With that thought in mind, he'd started circling around to the dragon's back, preparing an attack from the rear. It was a good thing that the beast's attention was focused on Kagome and the others, so that he could get close without being seen. But just then she'd called his name. When he'd turned to see what could be important enough to interrupt his carefully planned attack, she'd said that wicked word, again.

Keh!

As he hit the ground face first, he'd felt the air rush over his prone body. The dragon had been in the process of shifting it's wings while he'd been sneaking up on it's backside. He'd realized that he would have been decorating the tree on the opposite side of the clearing if Kagome had not said that word. But why the hell did staying undamaged have to hurt so much?

Popping back up, like a hyperactive hanyou would, he hadn't even had time to get his wits gathered when he'd heard that despised word leave her mouth, again.

Keh!

What the hell could she be thinking? What in the world had scrambled her brains, this time. The first time, maybe she had helped him out. The second time, she had saved him from an unexpected flight. But this time? What purpose could this have possibly served?

Just then the massive tail of the overweight monster passed over his head, close enough to pull a few silver strands with it. So, okay, maybe Kagome had a plan when she'd said that word the third time, but couldn't she think of another way to get his attention, or make him see the benefits of changing his position? Hadn't she ever heard the word 'duck', or maybe just a simple 'watch out' would do.

Snarling into the dirt, he'd thought about just staying there. He'd known that he'd end up there again, anyway. But when he'd seen the dragon doddering towards Kagome, he couldn't stay where he was. He had to protect her.

The only thing troubling his mind was that the dragon didn't seem to want to attack the others. But then, you could never trust dragons, could you? So while the giant collection of scales neared his friends, he'd rushed at it from behind. He would have been successful, too, if the damn kit hadn't called out to the others, asking what the dog thought he was doing.

Before he was close enough to strike, the dragon whirled on him, and took a deep breath. He had known what would come next. When the breath was expelled, it would be a superheated mass of flames, aimed right at him. He'd welcomed that word when he'd heard it that time, and felt the immediate pull around his neck.

Keh!

Even as he'd hit the ground, he'd felt the ends of his hair being singed, and the tips of his unprotected toes being bitten by the flames. Taking stock of his relatively uninjured state, he'd given thanks to the kami for that one little word, and it's effect on him. But, damn it all, he'd never tell her that.

Raising his head carefully, he been in time to see the dragon pass by his friends, with nothing more than a curious sniff. The waddling wanderer made it's way to a cave in the rocks behind his pack. He could swear that the dreaded dragon let out a sigh of relief, as it settled it's bulk down on it's bedding. Apparently this was it's home.

But why the hell did Kagome think it would be a good idea for her to approach the resting giant? What was she babbling about? How could she think she knew more about dragons than he did? If that dragon was a mother to be, he'd eat his sword, sheath and all! And why wasn't she with him, tending to his tender toes, and bruised nose?

Just then the dragon had begun the most ear-splitting series of howls that he'd ever had the displeasure of hearing. Interspersed between the unnerving noises were grunts and groans that reverberated in his bones! No matter how big it was, how could one being make that much noise? And what had Kagome been reaching into her bag for? Why had she taken out the herb that was meant to settle an upset stomach?

And just why the hell should he 'hit the ground"? Even if the others were now lying on the dirt, he'd be damned if he was going to do that again! He'd had his share of dust in his nose for one day! That was when he'd heard that wold again, followed by the biggest belch in the history of the world!

Keh!

The cloud of poisonous fumes that accompanied the massive air bubble had passed harmlessly overhead, while Kagome finally came over to check and see if he was alright. Looking at the sad state of his dusty, dirty clothing, she had clucked her sympathy, while rubbing ointment on all the bruised places she could find.

He'd had to admit that it had felt nice to have her attention like that. She'd been very sympathetic and apologetic over having to use that word so many times. She'd insisted that she'd only done it to keep him safe.

Even though he'd no longer been upset over being sat, he'd really not wanted her to know that. So he'd made sure, at top volume, no less, that she knew he never wanted her to use that particular word again. He hadn't thought it would work, but it was worth a shot, wasn't it?

That particular display of pretended temper was what had landed him in this tree, with the rapidly filling book. Looking down, he read over his entry, as Kagome and the others sat with the now svelte dragon. What he read was:

I protected my friends from an enraged dragon.  
Everyone knows that an animal in pain is dangerous.  
Now I have the bruises, and the beast has new friends.

Closing the book on his latest entry, he prepared to take it to Kagome. As he jumped from his perch, a new and slightly devious thought entered his mind. His sly grin grew as he walked toward the unsuspecting miko.

"Oi, Kagome, I think I found another bruise." The words were accompanied by him pointing to the corner of his mouth. "And I think I know how to make it feel better." It was worth a shot, wasn't it?

8888

There you have chapter 7. That's more than this story was originally intended to have. But every time we finish one, Isiaha is bubbling over with ideas for another. He wants an entire village of kitsunes in the next chapter!

breathlessinside- I'm so glad that you enjoy this. Inuyasha does ,indeed, have a very unique view of the world, in my opinion. And just like me, he seems to want to make his opinion known, no matter what the consequences. I don't think he'll ever learn.

clnv- I'm glad that you took a look. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated. This is so much fun to write with Isiaha. He never seems to run out of ideas. If you ever need a living muse, I could send him out there for a week, or two (maybe three). It would be an experience! Thank you so much for all the kind words. Someone once told me that it really doesn't matter what we say, what's important is how it's perceived by others. I guess that inspired this, in part, at least.

catbaker- I haven't been getting alerts for everything on my list, so I sympathize completely. I'm glad that you found it on your own. I was worried about trying to put too many ideas into one chapter, but I'm glad that you liked it. I love Miroku's character. There are so many diametrically opposed sides to him, that he's fun to throw in a chapter. I can see how melding Sango and Miroku with a village full of kitsunes might be fun to try. Thanks for the kind words about Cocoa bunny, too. She was the only bunny that could keep a dog backed into a corner, cowering in fear!

kojika00- I think I would worry about anyone who really understands this side of Inuyasha! We have so much fun playing with his shortcomings. Isiaha keeps telling me that I need to put more 'sits' in the story. If you can do a parody of a caricature, I think it would describe what we are doing! Sometimes I confuse myself, though! Did you know that your screen name is the only one that WordPerfect doesn't think is a misspelling? I don't know why that interests me, but it does.

theruthlesscow- at least there's more sympathy in this chapter. I hope it was enough, because it was hard to do. I don't know why, but real emotion just doesn't come naturally to this story. Maybe it's the cartoon image that I have when I write. Anyway, did you notice that the only dialogue I've ever posted is in this? That's something else I have trouble with. I hope that this made up for the last chapter. Keep pushing me to try and leave my comfort zone, and I promise I'll try!


	8. Chapter 8

1Chapter 8

Sitting in the tree branches, watching the sunset, should have been a peaceful experience. It would have been, if he didn't have his lap filled with this damn book. He could think of something else in particular he would like to have to keep his lap warm, and it didn't involve writing.

He'd almost gotten what he wanted, too. If it hadn't been for the damn hoshi, who wasn't even the hoshi, he would have his Kagome in his lap enjoying the sunset with him.

It wasn't a normal day from the beginning. Kagome had felt responsible for the big, green bellyaching lizard, and insisted that they find a suitable home for it. While he hadn't been happy with the new addition to their pack, he'd had to admit that having the dragon travel with them hadn't slowed them down. The great scaley beast could really move! Who would have thought that one belch could make that much difference? And Kagome seemed content to ride on its back even when she wasn't speaking to him.

And just why the hell hadn't she been speaking to him? So what was the problem with him telling the green monster how much of a pain in the ass it really was? Had she really expected him to be all smiles about having to find food and shelter for the big lug, too? Did she even have the slightest idea how much a dragon could eat? And with its damned sensitive stomach just how the hell did she expect him to find food that wouldn't upset it?

How could Kagome have been upset when he'd taken the opportunity to dump the dragon at the first berry patch that they'd come across? He hadn't even known that dragons were partial to berries. He'd simply pulled his pack away as the dragon gorged itself on the fruit. He'd remembered in time, this time, just how many thorns those berry bushes held. And besides, he hadn't wanted to be anywhere nearby when the dragon discovered it had another belch on the way. So why had Kagome felt the need to say that word as soon as he'd set her down?

Keh!

After that the only one who had spoken to him at all was the bratty kit, and that was just to whine about how much he missed the great galoot. So when they'd reached the quaint little village nestled in the forest he'd been more than ready to call it a day.

Who knew the problems such a simple decision could lead to?

Miroku had done his usual evil cloud routine to get a room at the best inn in the village. Honestly, how could the monk stand to be around himself? It probably should have triggered his suspicions when he noticed that there were more inns than houses, but what did he know about human villages? He'd lived in the damn forest for most of his life.

Naturally, the girls had decided that they had to do the whole bath thing before any of them could eat, so he'd found that he'd had some extra time to look around the village.

He'd had no idea where Shippou was, but the village wasn't really big enough for the kit to have gone too far. So while the monk was busy clearing out that nasty dark cloud, he set out to see the town. By the time he was done , Miroku would probably have talked the innkeeper into providing a feast to help them purify their bodies, all to better serve the village, right?

The first thing he'd noticed was the faint scent of kitsune that seemed to linger everywhere in this damn place. There must be a den of the tricky demons close. Maybe it would keep Shippou entertained, and out of his way if he made friends with a few of them. He was all for anything that would make his life easier!

Next, he'd noticed that there were none of the usual fields around the town to grow the foodstuffs the villagers would need. He'd thought this was strange, but since there didn't appear to be any immediate danger, he'd filed the idea away in the dusty corner of his brain that was labeled 'to think about'. He didn't want to run the risk of overworking–or possibly breaking–his brain.

Resuming his stroll, he'd heard the monk behind him. When the hell had the hoshi had time to catch up to him? Shouldn't Miroku still be making a big deal out of clearing the village of all supernatural dangers? The longer the monk took to provide for the safety of the town, the higher the price the bouzu would charge. And he'd seen the greed in Miroku's eyes, as the grandness of the monk's chosen mark became evident.

Turning, he saw Miroku talking to Sango. What the hell? Hadn't Sango gone to the baths with Kagome? She didn't even look as if she'd gotten wet. Things were just getting stranger and stranger, and he definitely didn't like strange. Strange just confused him, and he'd decided long ago that if he couldn't find a way to wrap his mind around something, it must be bad.

He'd gone back to ask the monk and slayer just what was going on, but they had ducked behind yet another inn just as he'd approached. When he'd finally made his way to where they should have been, he'd only seen the tails of two retreating kitsunes. He hadn't even been able to pick up the scent of his friends.

As a matter of fact, he'd been amazed that he hadn't even been able to pick up the normal scents of a village. Even the wood and stone of the inn he had been standing near hadn't given off the usual earthy scent. It was yet another thought for that dusty corner of his mind.

He'd decided that the only course of action would be to find his friends, and let them try and make some sense of all the confusing facts that had taken over his poor, overworked brain.

He'd been on his way to the baths when he'd seen Kagome approaching him. She'd been in the company of the inn owner that Miroku had been talking to earlier. Wondering about Sango's state of dryness hadn't helped him before, so his mind hadn't even noted that Kagome didn't look as if she had visited the baths, either. There was only so much room in that corner of his mind, after all.

He'd taken the miko's arm, and pulled her away from her conversational companion. He'd expected a loud 'sit' to leave her mouth at the interruption, but it hadn't happened! Just what the hell was going on? There were some constants in life, and Kagome saying that word when he used his strength to make her do something she didn't want to do was a constant that had been constant since the beads had been around his neck.

There had been no foot stomping or yelling, either. Kagome had simply stared at him with a vacant look in her green eyes.

Just then his brain had opened that dark dusty corner to the light of day. He might not always comment on how his friends looked, but he'd known damn well that his Kagome did not have green eyes. Depending on who was looking at them, they were either brown or grayish blue. He'd even heard people arguing about what color they really were. Green was one color that had never entered the conversations.

Studying his mysterious miko, he'd noticed that her scent was not what it should be, either. It wasn't that it wasn't Kagome's scent. It was just not enough of Kagome's scent to be _**his **_Kagome's scent. He'd realized that the thought didn't make a lot of sense, even to his own mind, but he'd known that something wasn't what it should be, and that was enough for him.

Just as he was about to question this almost Kagome, the girl had pulled him into a strong embrace, and tried to kiss him. He'd known right then that this couldn't be the Kagome of his dreams, because the only time that Kagome had ever acted this way was in his dreams!

Before his lips could touch the lips of the doppelganger in front of him, he'd heard that word, shouted from further down the main thoroughfare of the village. He'd had enough time to look up and see a very wet, very mad Kagome staring in his direction. He'd known right away which Kagome was the real Kagome.

Keh!

While he'd waited for the spell to wear off, the almost Kagome had disappeared into the closest inn. The inn owner could be seen entering another inn further down the street. When he'd managed to regain his footing, he'd seen a very wet Sango entering still yet another inn in the company of the monk.

Looking in the other direction, he'd notice what looked like Miroku and a completely dry slayer standing in front of the large inn that had been Miroku's original mark. He couldn't believe his eyes as he'd seen not the monk, but the slayer accost the person of her companion.

The smile that crossed Miroku's face had told him that, as far as the monk was concerned, the dispelling of dark clouds was done for the day. The damn bouzu hadn't even questioned why Sango would suddenly allow Miroku to grab all the monk could want of her backside. No, Miroku had seemed to be content to let his hand wander where it would go, and not have to worry about Sango's swinging fists.

Apparently Miroku hadn't cared enough to care if it was the real Sango, or not, but he was going to make damn sure that the woman at his side was _**his **_Kagome before he let her come any closer.

Leaning in toward what he thought should be Kagome, he'd started sniffing furiously. Maybe he should have been a little more discrete with the locations that he chose to sniff, but once he confirmed his Kagome's familiar scent, he couldn't seem to get enough.

As he'd made his way up and down the miko's body for the third time, he could tell he'd gone too far. He'd learned to see the signs, after all. So, making sure to stay as low as possible, he'd cringed while he'd waited for that word.

When the word hadn't come he'd chanced a look at the woman standing before him. She'd still smelled like his Kagome. She'd had his Kagome's eyes this time. So why hadn't she said that word that his Kagome could be counted on to say in a situation such as this?

Following the pivoting of the miko's head, he'd realized that Kagome had noticed two sets of slayers and monks, too. Maybe he should have thanked whoever was responsible for saving him from meeting the ground again, but he'd wanted to find the original members of his pack, first.

Grabbing Kagome's arm, he'd marched to the closest of the pairs. Trusting his trustworthy sense of scenting, he'd determined that the monk was real, but the slayer had smelled like kitsune. The fake Sango ran inside the closest of the many inns as Kagome had explained to Miroku that he had been about to become intimate with an imposter.

So why the hell did the monk seem to be upset that they'd rescued him from the fake Sango? And just what did he mean when he asked if they couldn't have waited a little longer to discover the deception? Was the bouzu really depraved enough to have wanted the attentions of the trickster? He'd be damned if he'd ever be able to figure out how humans thought.

He'd decided to let Kagome sooth the very upset monk, while he tried to remember which inn the real Sango was in. They'd all looked so much alike, and the smell of kitsune had been growing stronger by the minute. It had been enough to overpower his nose's ability to sniff out the truth.

Taking no chances, he's decided to check every inn in the village. Behind the first door, he'd come face to face with his own face. Disconcerting would have been the first word to come to his mind, but he'd been too disconcerted to be able to think of words with more than one syllable, or more than four letters. He'd let quite a few of those words lose, though. He'd known that if Kagome was close, he'd have to answer for his choice of words later, but right then he'd decided that he had to find the best way to grab himself.

Somehow that choice of words had brought enough unwanted pictures to his mind that his other self had been given a chance to escape. Now how in all the blazing fires of hell would he be able to keep the identity stealing bastard away from his friends? He could imagine all the trouble the pretender could cause for him.

As he'd thought of the confusing possibilities of the situation, he'd heard the voice of his miko's angry voice just outside of the inn he was in. He tried to make a hasty exit, but just as he stepped out of the inn, he saw Kagome standing toe to toe with himself. He'd known what was going to happen next, but he'd been powerless to prevent it. He'd been able to see that Kagome was being pushed past her boiling point. He'd only had time to resign himself to the knowledge that it was his other self's fault and not the miko's when she'd said that word.

Keh!

She could have at least waited until he'd reached the softer ground outside, instead of the hard floorboards of the inn's porch. Looking up, he'd seen a very confused Kagome looking at the retreating form of himself. He'd seen the look of enlightenment take over her face when she'd realized that it wasn't the real him in front of her. Maybe the sound of him crashing onto his face had given her a clue. Who could say? He hadn't been able to blame her, though. He'd almost been fooled by her double, hadn't he? He couldn't expect her to be as sharp as he was, could he?

When he'd rejoined the two others of his group, he'd been met with an embarrassed apology from the miko and a very long-winded explanation from the monk as to why Kagome should not be held responsible for her actions. He'd liked the way that Kagome had said that she would find some way to make it up to him. He'd like it quite a lot, as a matter of fact. He'd liked it even more when she'd told him he could decide how she should make it up to him.

What had set his temper on edge was how Miroku had gone on and on about how unfair it was to hold someone responsible for falling prey to a deception that was perpetrated against them. The monk had seemed to think that it would only enhance the wrong that had been done to him if either of them were to tell Sango of his reluctance to be parted from the slayer's willing double. The bouzu had gone on about it so stridently that Inuyasha swore that if he heard one more word about not being fair or responsibility, he was going to lose his temper like he'd never lost it before!

He'd only been able to shut the monk up as they approached the last inn of the village. He hadn't been prepared for the conversation that had been going on as he walked through the door. When he'd seen the face of the monk telling Sango that it wouldn't be fair to hold him responsible for his past actions now that he'd decided to follow a new path, Inuyasha had lost all control. He'd lunged at the pseudo-monk with a ferocity that he'd never shown before. He'd meant to teach the non-lecherous version of his friend a lesson that the pretender wouldn't soon forget.

While he'd been in midair, just about to put Miroku's double in its place, he'd heard Kagome say that word.

Keh!

Laying on the floor, he couldn't believe what he'd heard. What the hell was she talking about? What did it matter if the imposters hadn't caused any real harm or not? This particular kitsune-in-monk's-clothing had to be taught a lesson, didn't he? He'd reached the end of his patience with this village of inns and illusions. If he didn't get to pound someone soon, he would explode!

And he would have thought that Sango would have been glad of their intervention. Why did the slayer have to let them know how disappointed she was that the reformed hoshi wasn't her hoshi.

So maybe he should have been able to figure out that it wasn't a good idea to go after one of the monks as soon as the rosary's spell wore off, but he had to teach someone a lesson. How could they think it was his fault that he'd gone after the real Miroku and not the double? It just wouldn't be fair to hold him responsible for that mistake, would it? They did look alike, after all. But why did she think it was worth saving the monk by saying that word?

Keh!

While he'd been stuck to the floor, the monk's double had shifted back to its natural shape, and explained that the group had wandered into a kitsune training village. The town was used by the young kitsune to hone their skills between examination times.

It seemed that Shippou had been instrumental in letting the other kitsune know what type of illusion would be most effective on each member of the group. The brat had been the mastermind behind the whole thing, yet he was the one to suffer the punishment. How was there any justice in that?

So now he found himself with the damn book in his lap, instead of the woman that he wished was here to share the romance of the sunset with him. He would simply have to get this done as soon as he could, and see if any of Kagome's guilt could still be salvageable.

Looking at the blank page, he began to write:

_I found that sometimes it's best not to force humans to accept the reality of their lives. They're so hard to understand, but I'm getting better at it. What they say they want and what they really want aren't always the same thing. _

Looking at his writing, he couldn't help thinking about the last line, and wondering how his miko would react to it. It said:

_p.s. Kagome, remember you promised to let me decide how you would make up for that sit. I've got some ideas that I'd like to talk to you about._

He didn't know exactly what reaction to expect from Kagome as she read his entry, but he could honestly say that he hadn't expected the reaction that came. Taking his hand, his Kagome led him away from the others, and said, "You're right, Inuyasha. It's about time that we had a nice long talk. We might even have to talk all night, so don't expect us back, guys, okay?"

Smiling as he walked, he decided that he just may have finally figured out the one human that was most important to him.

8-8-8-8

A/N: this sat on the computer half finished for over a month and a half. I think parts sound forced, but it was time to wrap it up. I'm marking it complete, because the chapters seem to be harder and harder to write. I will be going back through the chapters to correct all the mistakes, so ignore any update notices that come through. The way this story was designed, I can always add another chapter if the spirit moves me. But it would have to move me really hard.

I would like to thank all the wonderful friends and reviewers for your interest in this story. Isiaha still checks how many hits and reviews come in on it. He's thrilled with the readers from other countries, too.

As I promised, Kagome did read the entry and sympathize with Inuyasha at the end of the story. Happy endings are always nice, aren't they?


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